Cracked Archive - Sex

5 Gross Products For Your Nether Hygiene

It's like the manufacturers just came up with the stupidest idea they could and then expected people to slather it all over their genitals.


The Skeeviest Things I Saw Working At An Adult Movie Theater

Like the drive-in, the wank theater is mostly gone. A few have managed to stick around, though, and we spoke to the former manager of one.


What Movies Get Wrong About BDSM Relationships

There are people out there who are in 24/7 master/slave relationships, complete with collars and/or certificates tagging them as lifelong partners.


6 Real Examples Of Sex Ed Gone Disastrously Awry

Warning: Though this article does contain themes of a sexual nature, most of it will prove difficult to masturbate to. Godspeed and good luck.


5 Ways Evolution Designed Your Body To Be Awesome At Sex

Our bodies seem to have either been designed by a dysfunctional committee or a very cruel prankster.


8 Easy Steps To Convince Your Husband To Get A Vasectomy

Apparently, there is something about shutting off my husband's sperm flow that doesn't appeal to him on a basic man-level. So I set out to change his mind.


5 Bleak Examples Of 'Social Issue' Porn (Which Is A Thing?)

Imagine any social issue that gets your blood boiling, and then imagine poorly scripted sexy talk and money shots added in.


6 Realities Of Life When Your Mom Is A Working Prostitute

We spoke to 'Felicia,' whose mother worked at a New Zealand brothel when Felicia was a teenager. Here's what we learned.


Super Creepy Sex Toys For Super Creepy People

WARNING: What's about to come is painfully NSFW.


5 Sex Toys That Invent Horrifying New Ways To Multi-Task

Have you ever thought about combining your no doubt many and varied non-sexual bad habits with your, uh, sexual habits?


The Complicated Realities Of Living With A Quicksand Fetish

In 1932, Hollywood introduced the movie-going public to the concept of drowning movie extras in quicksand, and to everybody's surprise, we started masturbating. Here's a closer look at this phenomenon.


7 X-Rated Traditions That Prove History Was Horny As F#@%

Men and women have been shamelessly horny lizards ever since the Stone Age.


The 5 Most Indefensible Sex Scenes In Superhero Movies

Sex in comic book movies is about as awkward as sex in a comic book store.


6 Hilarious X-Rated Artifacts From Early Computers

It was not that long ago that humanity had to resort to insanely elaborate or plain ridiculous methods just to do something as natural as looking at naked people in a computer screen.