Cracked Archive - Sex
6 Terrifying Things Nobody Tells You About Donating Sperm
To a young guy with not much money, sperm donation seems too good to be true. Having actually been a sperm donor, I can say that you had better be prepared for a long haul.
- Authors
- By Sean Berkley
- Published
- Comments
-
1535
1535 14 'Luxury' Sex Toys for the Extremely Rich and Creepy
Some rich people apparently can't stand the thought that they pleasure themselves like ordinary people. So they apparently do it the creepiest, most hilarious way possible.
- Authors
- By Mark Hill
- Published
- Comments
- 1045
5 Insane Ways Fear of Masturbation Shaped the Modern World
Back in olden days, doctors had as many cures for masturbation as there were 'symptoms.' Cures that helped shape the world you live in.
- Authors
- By Michael Voll
- Published
- Comments
- 1205
5 Sexual Innovations From People in Your History Text Books
It turns out that the great men and women lauded by society for mainstream discoveries, and the underground smut peddlers who advanced the art of masturbation, are often the same people.
- Authors
- By Kevin Forde, Lillian Marx
- Published
- Comments
- 427
7 Terrifying Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy
Thanks to sitcoms, romantic comedies and our mother's cuss-filled horror stories, we all know pregnancy is no walk in the park. In fact, pregnancy can cause some horrible, horrible things, like inny belly buttons temporarily turning into outies and ugly-people-making. Not to mention this stuff.
Get More Comedy: Sign up for ComedyNerd
The ComedyNerd newsletter is your weekly look at the world of stand up, sketch, and more. Sign up now!
The 7 Sleaziest Mating Rituals in the Animal Kingdom
Mating among animals and insects is no less complicated than it is among humans. It's all about being devious, and when it comes to sex, even the lowest of life forms have mastered the art of trickery, deceit and blackmail.
- Authors
- By Jonathan Wojcik
- Published
- Comments
- 478
The 5 Least Romantic Keys to a Happy Relationship
These tips won't win you love, but they sure will keep you in love.
- Authors
- By Kathy Benjamin
- Published
- Comments
- 968
The 7 Craziest Things Ever Done to Get Laid
Men have gone above and beyond the call of duty -- risking life, limb and country in the name of boobies.
- Authors
- By Rohan Ramakrishnan, Eddie Rodriguez
- Published
- Comments
- 456
The Bad Drunk's Guide to Partying [FLOWCHART]
It's not enough to merely suck. The obnoxious drunk knows he must suck at ear splitting volumes.
- Authors
- By S.D
- Published
- Comments
- 107
How to Be a Good Husband During 'Lady Times' [COMIC]
It's our duty as men.
- Authors
- By Scott Meyer
- Published
- Comments
- 319
7 Psychotic Pieces of Relationship Advice from Cosmo
- Authors
- By Dennis Hong, Katherine Smith
- Published
- Comments
- 2772
Straight Guy's Guide to Being Friends With Hot Women [COMIC]
Bragging about your stamina is a bad idea, it turns out.
- Authors
- By Scott Meyer
- Published
- Comments
- 207
7 Bizarre Products for Dressing Up Your Genitals
In a time when everything from artificial tans to calf implants has become culturally acceptable, for some reason genitals usually get left out of the body-decoration process. The only real option until recently was choosing between carpet or hardwood floors. Well, not anymore!
- Authors
- By Pauli Poisuo
- Published
- Comments
- 705
Online Stalking: How to Google Your Way Out of Love [CHART]
The most common form of online creepiness.
- Authors
- By Stephen Cook
- Published
- Comments
- 336
The 7 Most Terrifying Sex Toys Ever Patented
We've found seven people with the ego, the balls and the terrifying machinery to shout, 'Everyone in the world was boning wrong before I came along!'
- Authors
- By Luke McKinney
- Published
- Comments
- 562
