Every huge outrage is inevitably locked in one of the following five stages before it dissipates into wistful nothingness, like a gentle fart in a raging typhoon.
I dug into some of the 'PC Suckz00rz' arguments and quickly realized that not only are they wrong, they're exactly wrong, which is sort of impressive.
Staying on top of current events is like trying to drink from a fire hose, only instead of a hydrant it's hooked up to a sewer line.
Sometimes the opponents' plans are so ridiculous that you almost have to admire their dedication to being terrible.
It's been a banner year so far for the anti-vaccination movement. But not everything is rubella and roses for the anti-vaxxers.
The news reads like a very long PSA on why civilization was a bad idea.
Staying on top of current events is like trying to keep an accurate count of the wolves who are currently chasing you through the woods.
It's not easy being a cop. So imagine how frustrating it must be when they run across organized groups of half-cocked, wannabe, do-gooding amateurs like these people.
Judging from the news, the cabal of powerful people who secretly run the world have all dropped a shitload of acid recently.
If you take a moment to stop actively focusing on the negative, it's easy to see that, despite our collective insistence to the contrary, the world as a whole is chugging along towards a better place.
Stop making the world a worse place.
Where do your teeth go after they've been pulled out of your screaming skull by a sadist with a light on his forehead?
Even though the basic product is still the same (roof, prostitutes, wet-naps, shame), there's apparently still room for some forward-thinking innovation.