Cracked Archive - News

Beijing, we're finding out, has the kind of pollution that makes it seem like you're downwind from a freaking volcano eruption.

• By Robert Evans, Tyler Roney
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• February 09, 2016

May my Kindle forgive me for what I have done to it.

• By Robert Evans
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• February 05, 2016

Brass knuckles? Paper weights? What's the actual difference anyway?

• By Adam Tod Brown
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• February 04, 2016

The incompetence and lying behind the scenes that led to the lead-laced water poisoning thousands of people is as staggering as it is terrifying.

• By Anonymous, Saundra Sorenson
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• February 03, 2016

Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to binge-watch every movie in the 'Gory Psychological Horror' and 'Violent Political Drama' categories on Netflix.

• By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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• February 02, 2016

Being a comedian as well as a lady comes with a different set of challenges and advantages. (Mostly just challenges.)

• By Eden Dranger
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• February 01, 2016

All the red-white-and-blue hullabaloo that visits Iowa once every four years makes life really, really strange for the people who live there.

• By Robert Evans, Anonymous, Evan V. Symon
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• January 31, 2016

Working for for a charitable cause is a noble and amazing endeavor that will inevitably let you down at some point.

• By Kathy Benjamin
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• January 27, 2016

Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to clean up post-blizzard snow drifts by pissing on them.

• By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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• January 26, 2016

It's a weird time to be a soccer player in the United States right now. Why? Because it's apparently a great way to give yourself cancer.

• By Adam Tod Brown
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• January 21, 2016

World events are like a game of chess, only there are billions of pieces, no rules, and the board is perched precariously over a landmine.

• By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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• January 19, 2016

Why the sudden rash of rebel groups obsessed with tyranny? There's a lot to unpack here -- and even more that's being ignored by most of the media.

• By David Christopher Bell
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• January 14, 2016

Up yours, Donnie Wahlberg -- this is how you really compare Avery and O.J.

• By Adam Tod Brown
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• January 14, 2016

No, Obama is not coming for your guns.

• By Luke McKinney
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• January 12, 2016

Staying current with the news is like trying to put tiny tuxedos on a swarm of angry hornets.

• By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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• January 12, 2016