People Have Taken Trump's Bleach Suggestion To Weirdo New Frontiers
This kind of thing is to be expected at this point, so it's not so much surprising as it is a disappointing confirmation of the reality that some people - not many, to be fair - followed Trump's advice of using disinfectants to keep COVID-19 at bay. This is according to a small study conducted by the CDC to find out why more poison control call center phone lines have been blowing up lately. You know they know why they just needed a less conspicuous reason than to see if people actually listened to the man who doesn't work out because he thinks humans have a finite amount of energy.
I'll give credit where credit's due: Trump only suggested people inject bleach to ward off the virus. According to the study, people one-upped the president's already extremely dangerous suggestion. They were drinking bleach, they were gargling it, they were inhaling its delicious fumes, and they were rubbing it on their bare skin. Those are all fairly self-explanatory. I can easily imagine someone in a MAGA hat splashing a little bleach on their neck like a cologne or swishing it around their mouth like Listerine after a meal rich with garlic.
It says some used it to disinfect food before consumption, but food usage was a point that needs to be further explored. There's got to be at least one culinary trailblazer who made a bleach and shallot reduction, maybe turned it into a brine for a smoked chicken, or boiled a pot of pasta in bleach, of course remembering to reserve a little bit of the cooking water to thicken the sauce.
Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Catch him on the "In Broad Daylight" podcast with Cracked alums Adam Tod Brown and Ian Fortey! Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's BunnyEars.com and his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast. Listen to the first episode on Youtube!