Trump Hid Because His Greatest Fear Is Consequence

Donald Trump is a coward in hiding. When protesters were in the general vicinity of the White House, he fled to a basement bunker, like someone that forgot to buy candy for trick-or-treaters ("We know your in there, Mr. Daniels! Give us our Snickers!"). He'd later say that he was just "inspecting" the basement. Probably checking for mold and making sure the walls aren't buckling. You know, general home upkeep stuff that presidents never do, and Donald Trump certainly has never done in his entire life without calling in a repairman who he will refuse to pay because he smells too ethnic.

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The man was hiding from the anger that he didn't invent -- it's much older than him -- but he certainly contributed to. He's hiding from the consequences for having fanned the flames of racial division for nearly four years as president, and even a few years before that when he called for Barack Obama's birth certificate, and years before that when he called for the execution of the Central Park 5 (who were later exonerated), and years before that when he turned away black tenants in his buildings, and years before he was even born when his dad was arrested at a KKK demonstration.

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Donald Trump is the embodiment of everything those protestors are fighting against and all he can do is hide from them. When he walked to a church to do a truly, truly pathetic photo op holding up a Bible -- one which outraged the church's Bishop -- he had to do it while hiding behind dozens of riot cops and soldiers who had to teargas peaceful protestors just to clear his path. He hid behind a wall of fascist police state fear-mongering just to get a picture of him, and a deeply unreligious man, performing one of the most aggressively cynically things you'll ever see, and all because everybody made fun of how he hid from his own citizens in a basement.

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Trump continues to entrench himself in his own cowardice as a second layer of fencing has risen around the White House. (At least he finally built his wall.) By October, he'll be living near the Earth's core under the watchful protection of the mole people. Donald Trump is a chicken shit whose greatest fear in life is facing a consequence, and right now there's a lot of consequence gathered around the White House.

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Catch him on the "In Broad Daylight" podcast with Cracked alums Adam Tod Brown and Ian Fortey! Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's BunnyEars.com and his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast. Listen to the first episode on Youtube!

Top Image: Public Doman Textures/Wikimedia Commons


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