Cracked Archive - News

The 6 Dumbest Things We Just Learned The Secret Service Did

It's been more than 50 years since the last time a president died while the Secret Service was babysitting him, though clearly they've dumb-lucked their way into that winning record.


The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (1/5)

Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to dry out a flooded basement with a sponge.


4 Things Everybody Overlooks When Talking About Trump

Hey, have you heard about Donald Trump's run for president? No, not his current campaign -- his 2000 run when he tried to win the Reform Party nomination but lost to Pat Buchanan.


5 Horrific Experiences I Lived As A Child Refugee

The bloodbaths in the Kakuma refugee camp tended to start with hunger and desperation.


5 Huge News Stories Of 2015 (We Immediately Forgot)

Don't worry, Ariana Grande, in our hearts you'll always be a doughnut licker instead of doing whatever that thing it is that you do.


How 8 Stores Are Fighting The War On Christmas

Family Dollar is clearly not ashamed to love Christmas in a Christmas-hating world, and that's an admirable trait for any soldier to have.


5 Petty Ways People Are Ruining Christmas This Year

Red Starbucks cups are so last month. Here some new things for your family to yell about over Christmas dinner.


6 Reasons You've Probably Read Russian Propaganda Today

Russian propaganda slips into our reading every day. Straight from the Kremlin, right into your Facebook feed.


We Asked A Mass Shooter Why The Hell This Keeps Happening

What we think we know about these people is either grossly simplified or outright B.S.


The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (12/15)

Watching the news, it's clear that the real world is a lot like the 'Star Wars' universe, in the sense that there are lots of people getting limbs hacked off by religious extremists.


Realistic Reasons WWIII Could Start Anytime Now

ISIS is craving war in Syria and, unfortunately, there are more than a few warhawks running for president who'd like to give it to them.


5 BS Myths About Being Poor You Believe Thanks To The Media

As far as most news outlets are concerned, anyone below the poverty line is fair game as a source of national amusement and mockery.


The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (12/8)

Watching the news can leave you with the impression that the world is secretly run by YouTube commenters.


The 5 Craziest Stories Of The 2016 Election So Far (Pt. 2)

While everyone is saying equally dumb stuff as Ben Carson, he's the only one suffering in the polls for it.


5 Things That Look Exponentially Creepier When Done Alone

Going to an animated movie for kids by yourself as an adult male is one step away from going to Chuck E. Cheese's alone.