Cracked Archive - News

The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/9/17)

The news outlets are the Tamagotchis of the new millennium.


6 Underreported Reasons Why The NY Times Totally Sucks

Not to sound like Trump, but there are actually several reasons to harbor a strong dislike for the 'NYT.'


A 10th Grader Explains The Civil War To Donald Trump

I feel like Lincoln was bad at his job. Couldn't he have just, like, given the South a Pepsi?


A Zero B.S. Guide To American Healthcare

Why the hell is it so difficult to make major changes to the healthcare system in America?


Here's 10 Amazing Things You Probably Didn't Know (4/30/17)

At no cost whatsoever, here are some completely true facts you can use to spice up your small talk.


Why The Fyre Festival Attendees Should've Seen It Coming

What music fan with $12,000 to spare wouldn't jump at the chance to drop that on a chance to see Ja Rule? Ja Rule!


5 Deeply Embarrassing Things The News Keeps Doing

Our ability to share massive amounts of information also means we can share massive amounts of garbage.


How Do You Make A Public Apology? Not Like This

Hey, Jesse Watters. Blowjob mic guy. Can I call you Blowjob Mike? Cool.


The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/2/17)

Some weeks it seems like the news media is deliberately punking you.


Simply Staggering Facts About The Opioid Epidemic

Pharmaceutical companies make Walter White look like an amateur.


6 Historical Hoaxes That Are Too Stupid Even For 2017

The concept of fake news isn't entirely fake.


The Terrifying Shortage Nobody Is Talking About

America is running out of poison.


Here's 10 Amazing Things You Probably Didn't Know (4/23/17)

You're welcome for making you a much more interesting person to the people screaming obscenities at you on Xbox.


Let's Crunch The Numbers Behind Bill O'Reilly's 'Punishment'

Bill O'Reilly isn't returning to Fox News because he sexually harassed five women. No, he's not returning because of math.


The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (4/25/17)

Sorting through news headlines is like archaeology -- there's a ton of digging, there's so much dirt, and anything good you find is usually broken.