Cracked Archive - News
People, We Need To Wash Our Hands To Stop Spreading Coronavirus (Not All The Other Stupid Crap You're Doing)
It’s trendy to have coronavirus right now, but if someone offers it to you, just say no.
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- By Luis Prada
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0 'Extreme' Political Viewpoints (That Really Aren't)
Progressive policies actually work quite well in the rest of the world.
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- By Adam Wears
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- 317
5 Hilarious Ways Drones Are Doing Good (Seriously)
See? Sometimes drones can be good.
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- By Kelly Stone
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- 31
Costco Food Courts Go Behind A Paywall March 16th: So Long Cheap Hotdogs, Non-Members
There's a lot of great memories attached to the Costco food court, and that's all about to go behind a paywall.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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IKEA Is Producing Weird Audio Porn Now
Slam your genitals in as many consenting drawers as you want, but don't pretend it's making them cleaner.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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The 5 Most Garbage Democrats In Congress
Just look at these asses.
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- By Cedric Voets
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- 109
If Your Significant Other Needs A McDonald's Scented Candle, Now's The Time
To those about to beef: We salute you.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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Burger King Is Embracing Mold Now
There's more mold in this new Burger King commercial than your ex-boyfriend's shower.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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Please, For The Love Of God, Don't Take Financial Advice From Jake Paul
Oh, God, please, we're begging you.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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The Boy Scouts Of America Runs Out Of Pedophile Funds, Declares Bankruptcy
Always be prepared to lowball victims.
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- By Cedric Voets
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5 Monopolies That Hate The Average American
(Fixed rate) power to the people!
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- By Cedric Voets
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- 136
Hamas Is 'Hacking' Israeli Soldiers With Catfishing
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- By Isaac Cabe
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Real, Weirdo Video Games Starring The 2020 Presidential Candidates
Time to drop into gaming's deepest, lamest, weirdest corners.
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- By Jordan Breeding
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- 39
Love Can Be Scary And Confusing ... Just Like A Valentine Clown
What is love if not playing cruel tricks on your beloved and laughing when they pee?
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- By Amanda Mannen
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Daniel The Golden Retriever Deserved Better At Westminster
How can we have a 'best dog,' really?
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- By Isaac Cabe
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