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They sacrificed kids at Machu Picchu.

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Who’s Depression Is It Anyway? Study Shows Improv Is Good for Mental Health

No sad clowns here

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Young Jason Sudeikis Thought ‘Saturday Night Live’ Was the Comedy McDonalds

Sudeikis wasn't lovin' it.

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Here's The Pro-Trans John Cleese Sketch From 'The Meaning Of Life' To Celebrate Its 40th Anniversary

Cleese was accidentally a trans ally for four decades before he joined British Fox News

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All Three Jennifer Aniston-Adam Sandler Pairings Ranked

Is ‘Murder Mystery 2’ any good?

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Honest Headlines: 15 Headlines Those Nerds Would Never Print

By:: Eli Yudin

May 11, 2021

Honest Headlines: 15 Headlines Those Nerds Would Never Print

My headlines are too strong for you, editor.

15

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Dracula's castle proves an ideal setting for COVID-19 jabs By STEPHEN MCGRATH today AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Um, isn't this needle supposed to be putting something in not taking stuff out By STEPHEN MCGRATH today GRACKED — Source: AP

14

Honest Headlines The Washington Dost Democracy Dies in Darkness Capital Weather Gang Brood awakening: Cicadas emerging across D.C. area These are the early bloomers. A more massive, widespread swarm Still awaits. The Washington Post Democracy Dies in Darkness Oh SO you thought you were gonna start going outside again? LOL These are the early bloomers. A more massive, widespread swarm still awaits. CRACKED — Source: Washington Post

13

Honest Headlines The Washington Dost Democracy Dies in Darkness Business As his restaurants' customers return, a Miami chef is missing a critical ingredient: Workers Buoyed by a huge spring break and tourist influx, South Flori are having a boom, with no hourly workers to service The Washington Post Democracy Dies in Darkness Diners' forks drop in horror as Miami chef reveals his secret ingredient Buoyed by a huge spring break and tourist influx, South Florida restaura are having a boom, with no hourly workers to service them. CRACKED.COM — Source: Washington Post

12

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Oprah, Prince Harry reunite for Apple TV+ mental health show By The Associated Press today AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Literal royalty and billionaire are here to tell you to cheer up By The Associated Press today GRACKED.CON — Source: AP

11

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Delta flight returns to Atlanta after birds hit windshield today AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Long-coming war between birds, airplanes finally begins today CRACKED.COM — Source: AP

10

Honest Headlines The Washington Dost Democracy Dies in Darkness Coronavirus U.S. map World map Vaccine tracker Vaccine FAQ Variants FAQ Scientists may have found a new coronavirus rapid-testing method: Bees The Washington Post Democracy Dies in Darkness Coronavirus U.S. map World map Vaccine tracker Vaccine FAQ Variants FAQ Scientists booed off stage after revealing terrible COVID test idea CRACKED.COM — Source: Washington Post

9

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Biologists find disease-causing fungus on New Mexico bats May 6, 2021 AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen NOT AGAIN WITH THE F* *KING BATS May 6, 2021 GRACKED.COM — Source: AP

8

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen China defends handling of rocket that fell to Earth today AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen China defends terrible rocket that didn't even do #1 job of not exploding today GRACKED — Source: AP

7

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Republicans in Maine eye -year mandatory COVID-19 shot ban By PATRICK WHITTLE 35 minutes ago AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Republicans fully incapable of taking a **king L By PATRICK WHITTLE 35 minutes ago GRACKED.COM — Source: AP

6

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen China opens Everest's north side to 38 virus- tested climbers May 7, 2021 AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Mountain climbers excited to die the old-fashioned way May 7, 2021 GRACKED.COM — Source: AP

5

Honest Headlines The Washington Post = Democracy Dies in Darkness D.C., Md. & Va. The District Maryland Virginia Crime & Public Safety Educatio A rare calico lobster was rescued from a Red Lobster. It's now headed to a Virginia exhibit. The Washington Post Democracy Dies in Darkness D.C., Md. & Va. The District Maryland Virginia Crime & Public Safety Education Lucky lobster gets to live in glass jail forever CRACKED.COM — Source: Washington Post

4

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Chinese safari park conceals escape of leopards for 1 week today AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen I knew they weren't THAT good at camouflage, you liars today CRACKED.COM — Source: AP

3

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Hugs to be allowed in England as part of lockdown easing By PAN PYLAS an hour ago AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Good news for English creeps, bad news for their female co-workers By PAN PYLAS an hour ago GRACKED — Source: AP

2

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Chief: Texas police shoot man who was firing gun in home 32 minutes ago AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen Just having a fun Friday night in your own house illegal now, I guess 32 minutes ago GRACKED.COM — Source: AP

1

Honest Headlines AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen New Orleans incentive for getting vaccine: free crawfish an hour ago AP Top Stories Topics Video Listen New Orleans one step closer to gumbo-based vaccine delivery system an hour ago CRACKED.COM — Source: AP

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