Cracked Archive - News

National Conventions Are Pointless Wastes Of Time
Welcome to the lamest concert on Earth.
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- By Dan Duddy
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60
Running A Lemonade Stand Is Dangerous Work (No, Really)
When life gives you lemons, then you might get robbed.
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- By Dan Duddy
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13
Buying Stamps Won't Save The Post Office; Here's What Will
You don't need to be buying stamps.
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- By Dan Duddy
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69
5 Crazy True Crimes That Got Overshadowed This Year
These deaths are not normal by even the twenty-twentiest of definitions.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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71
Why Is The USPS And Mail-In Voting Being Ruined?
Imagine this story coming from another country. It would be an example of "third-world" politics.
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- By Dan Duddy
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125
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Dog Whistles Are Already Blowing For Kamala Harris
It's only been two days.
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- By Dan Duddy
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154
The QAnon Congressperson is Nothing New
The weird is coming from inside the House.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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37
Hey, How Does Time Work in the Peanut Universe?
We can accept reincarnation. We can even accept time travel. Just get it straight.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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13
Robot Trucks Will Soon Screw Up The U.S.A. (And Nobody's Talking About It)
And this isn't the plot of Transformers we're talking about here.
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- By William Kuechenberg
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96
Aside From Scoring Political Points, It Sure Feels Like Trump's Unemployment Order Does Nothing
We have to hand it to him, this is Trump's best political move in a long time.
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- By Dan Duddy
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88
Most Expensive Mask In The World Is Also The Dumbest
Now you too can sneeze into 1.5 million dollars.
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- By Dan Duddy
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23
Schools Are Cracking Down On Students Sharing Shady Conditions On Social Media
They choose to enforce social media restrictions, but telling students to wear a mask is a step too far?
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- By Dan Duddy
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92
The NRA's Latest Scandal Needs Its Own Documentary Series
Even if the NRA dissolves, that doesn't mean gun rights are going away.
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- By Dan Duddy
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75
An Angry God Has Clearly Cursed Disney World
There was definitely something in the Bible about this.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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15
Trump Seems To Get Rattled By Something He Rarely Hears: Follow Up Questions
This should be the standard from now on for interviewing all Presidents.
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- By Dan Duddy
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68