Cracked Archive - News
Obama Showed Up For Jury Duty And Was Dismissed (Duh)
Barack Obama was dismissed from jury duty because, no duh.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 09, 2017
Facebook Wants All Your Nudes (To Prevent Revenge Porn)
One in 25 Americans has experienced (or been threatened with) revenge porn. Now Facebook is stepping up to offer us the tools to fight it.
- By Tim Hawkman, Saundra Sorenson
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- November 08, 2017
Cops Respond To Cries Of Help... That Came From A Parrot
It's a sad statement on the failures of our institutions that the police did not take this parrot's cries for help seriously.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 08, 2017
Protesters And Pokemon Go Players Arrested In Russia
The Russian government's track record on protests is not great.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 08, 2017
Dear Powerful Men In Hollywood, We're Listening
Be like Hannibal Buress.
- By Tim Hawkman, Lydia Bugg
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- November 07, 2017
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now (11/12/2017)
McDonalds has finally released an app to let me know the precise times when their ice cream machines are working.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 07, 2017
Tiffany's Offers A $1,000 Tin Can. Good Job, Rich People.
Okay, rich people. What's your deal?
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 07, 2017
Do We Need A LOTR Show With Half The Characters?
A 'Lord Of The Rings' TV series is a pretty bad idea.
- By Tim Hawkman, Daniel Dockery
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- November 06, 2017
Edible Glitter Coffee Is Happening. Don't Get Mad.
You know what? After the 'Rick and Morty' Szechuan sauce debacle, I don't want to hear a single complaint about glitter coffee.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 06, 2017
No, Trump Did Not Overfeed Koi Fish During His Trip To Japan
No, trump didn't overfeed a bunch of Koi fish on his trip to Japan. But there were still a few prize turd comments coming out of that trip.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 06, 2017
What's Good OR BAD For You Now? (11-09-17)
Every week it's reported that something is good ... or REALLY bad for you.
- By Tim Hawkman, Chris Pauls
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- November 04, 2017
The Unicode Consortium Is Deciding The Fate Of The Poo Emoji
I knew they existed. I told my friends, my family, everyone. They told me I was being 'paranoid.'
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 03, 2017
Rick Perry's Fossil Fuel Comments Are Dumber In Context
We can't assume that the mere presence of light would stop sexual assault.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 03, 2017
How The 'Last Of Us 2' Trailer Ruined A Sure Thing
Stop ... Hammer Time.
- By Tim Hawkman, Mark Hill
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- November 03, 2017
The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/7/17)
The news just doesn’t get any better than this. Which is kind of depressing when you think about it.
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- November 02, 2017
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