Cracked Archive - News
There's A KFC Scented Bath Bomb Because The Devil Is Real
Winner winner chicken ... ugh ...
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 02, 2017
Russian Trolls Used Satan Arm Wrestling Jesus As Propaganda
If you asked me to trade in the sanctity of our democracy to see Jesus arm-wrestle Satan, I would.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 02, 2017
Is 'The Lion King' Live-Action If There Are No People In It?
More like 'Lying King' ...
- By Tim Hawkman, Lydia Bugg
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- November 02, 2017
The Reason Harvey Weinstein Is Just The Beginning
Why did this suddenly become the month we exposed an industry so fraught with scandal that Variety now reads like a newspaper crime section?
- By David Christopher Bell
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- November 01, 2017
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (11/04/2017)
A child getting small amounts of candy handouts from all of her neighbors is like the definition of socialism.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 01, 2017
Osama Bin Laden Had Anime And Disney On His Computer
Truly, a terrifying look into the mind of a cold blooded killer.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 01, 2017
NFL Protests Aren't Responsible For Papa John's Bad Sales
If your business can be crippled by black people protesting injustice, you probably aren't running a great business.
- By Tim Hawkman
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- November 01, 2017
Judge Rules That Asking For A 'Lawyer Dog' Is Too Confusing
I can't imagine how these officers and judges function in real life, with all the 'ambiguous' slang out there.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- October 31, 2017
Too Much Black Licorice Is Bad For Your Heart And Your Soul
I'm going to come right out and admit it: I somewhat enjoy black licorice.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- October 31, 2017
Poisoned Halloween Candy Just Isn't A Thing
What kind of weirdo tampers with Halloween candy?
- By Tim Hawkman, Ian Fortey
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- October 31, 2017
You Can See Mario's Officially Licensed Wiener
Mario's dingaling appears in an officially licensed manga, so his pendulous little disco stick is canon.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- October 30, 2017
Huge Questions 'Stranger Things' Needs To Answer In Season 3
WARNING: SPOILERS ARE AHEAD. IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED STRANGER THINGS 2, GET THE HECK OUT OF THIS ARTICLE. GO BACK TO HANGING OUT WITH YOUR JOCK FRIENDS.
- By Tim Hawkman, Daniel Dockery
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- October 30, 2017
The AI That Generates Halloween Costumes Is The Singularity
This woman is a certifiable evil genius.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- October 30, 2017
Burger King's Bullying PSA Is Just Ham-Fisted Manipulation
There's a good chance you're one of the 2.3 million and counting to have watched 'Bullying Jr.' The ad is getting a string of accolades normally reserved for Best Picture nominees, and it deserves absolutely none of them.
- By Tim Hawkman, Mark Hill
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- October 27, 2017
A Giant Worm Was Found And It Turns Out, They're Very Common
Look at that cute little baby elephant trunk ... Oh, that's an earthworm.
- By Katie Goldin
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- October 27, 2017
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