Cracked Archive - News
Be a real hero by sitting inside. It's literally the least you can do.
- By Luis Prada
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- March 23, 2020
Other than us needing a LOT more sweatpants.
- By Archie Grimm
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- March 20, 2020
Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States.
- By Cedric Voets
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- March 19, 2020
What a truly stupid historical epoch we're in.
- By Mark Hill
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- March 18, 2020
Travel should absolutely be limited at this point in time, but there's a bunch of ways little airplanes can help.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- March 18, 2020
The power of the human boner cannot be suppressed.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- March 13, 2020
Always spew racist nonsense into your elbow and away from people.
- By Cedric Voets
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- March 13, 2020
You might not want to know what it's like, unless you're male, upper-clase and white.
- By Cedric Voets
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- March 13, 2020
Sometimes life manages a satisfying narrative arc.
- By E. Reid Ross, Blair Dodge, Fred Pope, Markos Hasiotis
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- March 10, 2020
Even though we don't technically have a housing shortage. (Just an AFFORDABLE housing shortage.)
- By Kelly Stone
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- March 10, 2020
We read the news today, oh boy.
- By Mark Hill
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- March 09, 2020
Look out! It's a g-g-g-g-greedy airline!
- By Cedric Voets
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- March 09, 2020
Like nature's consolation prize.
- By Kelly Stone
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- March 08, 2020
Real hostage situations get way crazier than you think.
- By Ryan Menezes
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- March 08, 2020
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