Cracked Archive - News

What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (11/04/2017)

A child getting small amounts of candy handouts from all of her neighbors is like the definition of socialism.

By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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November 01, 2017

Osama Bin Laden Had Anime And Disney On His Computer

Truly, a terrifying look into the mind of a cold blooded killer.

By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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November 01, 2017

NFL Protests Aren't Responsible For Papa John's Bad Sales

If your business can be crippled by black people protesting injustice, you probably aren't running a great business.

By Tim Hawkman
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November 01, 2017

Judge Rules That Asking For A 'Lawyer Dog' Is Too Confusing

I can't imagine how these officers and judges function in real life, with all the 'ambiguous' slang out there.

By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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October 31, 2017

Too Much Black Licorice Is Bad For Your Heart And Your Soul

I'm going to come right out and admit it: I somewhat enjoy black licorice.

By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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October 31, 2017

Poisoned Halloween Candy Just Isn't A Thing

What kind of weirdo tampers with Halloween candy?

By Tim Hawkman, Ian Fortey
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October 31, 2017

You Can See Mario's Officially Licensed Wiener

Mario's dingaling appears in an officially licensed manga, so his pendulous little disco stick is canon.

By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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October 30, 2017

Huge Questions 'Stranger Things' Needs To Answer In Season 3

WARNING: SPOILERS ARE AHEAD. IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED STRANGER THINGS 2, GET THE HECK OUT OF THIS ARTICLE. GO BACK TO HANGING OUT WITH YOUR JOCK FRIENDS.

By Tim Hawkman, Daniel Dockery
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October 30, 2017

The AI That Generates Halloween Costumes Is The Singularity

This woman is a certifiable evil genius.

By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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October 30, 2017

Burger King's Bullying PSA Is Just Ham-Fisted Manipulation

There's a good chance you're one of the 2.3 million and counting to have watched 'Bullying Jr.' The ad is getting a string of accolades normally reserved for Best Picture nominees, and it deserves absolutely none of them.