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Cracked Archive - News

Meet The Dystopian Toilet Designed To Make Work Suck

This toilet is a narc.

0

5 Republicans In Congress Who Are Garbage Humans

No politician is perfect, but some are more not perfect than others.

316

5 Dumb Ways People In Trump's Orbit Are Trying To Cash In

The Trump presidency has attracted a dizzying array of grifters.

62

JetBlue Now Has ASMR (Just In Time For The Holidays)

Airports + ASMR = whaaa?

0

The Actual Stories Behind 5 Huge Social Media Outrages

Social media makes getting mad so convenient!

122

Gigantic Hats Are The Future Of Fashion, Apparently

Sure, why not, wear giant hats, whatever.

0

5 Ways Modern Schooling Is Making Students Dumber

Who teaches the teachers?

173

IHOP's New Fast-Casual Breakfast Joint Doesn't Get Breakfast

IHOP's opening a new breakfast-to-go concept that completely misses any and all points of breakfast.

1

Walmart Is Too Lame To Pull Off That Cocaine Snowman Sweater

Because Walmart is a dork store.

0

The 2019 Words Of The Year Prove 2019's Been Rough

Them's the breaks.

5

6 Infamous Scandals With Crazy Details The Public Forgot

Sometimes the stories after the stories are even stranger.

73

Every Single Stupid Company Is Mega Horny (On Twitter)

We are now in the 'aroused' stage of late capitalism.

1

4 Disturbing Ways Trump Is Repeating History

History doesn't happen in a vacuum.

240

Freedom Sucks (And That's Why We Have To Defend It)

We are on some dangerous ground here.

0

Trump Fleeing After Being Mocked Is Objectively Funny

Winners don't get laughed at, duh!

0