15 Of The Nuttiest Reports From Recent News

The news, can't live with it, can't … oh well, whatever. The point is that the news is always a mixed bag. Sometimes it's encouraging and hopeful and sometimes it's a soul-crushing automaton from which there is seemingly no escape. But actually, there's a third category of the news, which is what we'll be talking about today.
We're going to have a look at the nutty and weird, which is the stuff of late-night monologue hilarity and prime escapism. So c'mon along and let's get weird.
If there ever is such a thing as the human truth, it must exist only at the periphery of this vast sphere. The center remains opaque and unreachable. And yet in some small nook, people gather to tell stories, which in some form or another are always the same. These stories contain the common experiences of life: pain, love, anger, loss, triumph, fear... the splendor of emotional life.
A cat is reunited with its owners several states away after 7 years.

Source: Toronto Sun
Not all fruit is vegan.

Source: WalesOnline
A mummified mermaid is worshiped in Japan.

Source: Yahoo
A Halloween decoration was put in the passenger seat to use the carpool lane.

Source: MYNorthwest
Only canine support animals are allowed on planes.

Source: NPR
IBM executive called his older workers “dinobabies.”

Source: ARS Technica
Get saucy with the Queen.

Source: Foodsided
Man transports reptiles over the border in his clothes.

Source: AP News
Online safety leader also threatened a journalist on Twitter.

Source: The Verge
Local trash panda attends college.

Source: AP News
Misappropriation of funds is an understatement.

Source: NY Post
Cyclists are throwing pee at each other.

Source: Insider
Hard to imagine a more low speed chase than this.

Source: CBS
A courthouse was shut down due to some ill timed tacos.

Source: Today
When you run out of vacation days, just shove a watermelon under your shirt.

Source: Oxygen