Cracked Archive - News
'Borat 2' star Rudy Giuliani Suspended From Practicing Law In The State of New York
Good 'ol RuGiu may be many things, but a lawyer in the eyes of New York state is definitely no longer one of them.
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- By Carly Tennes
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18 Florida Schools To Teach Students That Communism Is Evil
Somewhere in the world, Ben Shapiro is probably weeping tears of joy.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Subway Tuna May Not Actually Be Tuna, DNA Test Rules
Something fishy is going on here ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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AI Cameras Force Employees To Smile In Order To Print Documents, Enter Office
Nothing says pure happiness like being forced to smile against your will!
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- By Carly Tennes
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Fmr. President Trump Reportedly Suggested Shipping Sick Americans Off To Guantanamo Bay
Nothing says "get well soon" like a nice, involuntary trip to Gitmo?
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- By Carly Tennes
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Australian TV Anchors Represent During Bezos 'Rocket' Story
“Does that look a little odd to you, or is that just me?”
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- By Carly Tennes
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'Seinfeld' Won't Be Streaming Anywhere For The Next Several Months
For the next several months, the show about nothing will be streaming nowhere.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Don't Push Your Friends Into Angry Bears, Warns National Park Service
It's a grisly warning, but someone's gotta make it.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Wyoming Senator: 'I Want To Make Joe Biden A One-Half-Term President'
Third senate impeachment trial in recent history is the charm?
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- By Carly Tennes
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'New York Times' Wants You To Stop Chilling With Your Loser Friends
Reinvigorate your 2021 social life by becoming a low-grade sociopath.
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- By Cedric Voets
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Study: 25 Rainbow-Touting Companies Allegedly Donated $10 Million To Anti-LGBTQAI+ Lawmakers
Rainbow capitalism, folks!
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- By Carly Tennes
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Mama Duck Leads Ducklings on Bagel Adventure In NYC
You've heard of Pizza Rat, but are you ready for Bagel Duck?
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- By Carly Tennes
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Cops Allegedly Detain Fast Food Workers For Not Giving Them Free Burgers
Well, I guess that's one way to get arrested ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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Reminder: Baha Men Banger 'Who Let The Dogs Out' Is A Secret Feminist Banger
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- By Carly Tennes
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