Cracked Archive - News

Most Expensive Mask In The World Is Also The Dumbest

Now you too can sneeze into 1.5 million dollars.


Why Christmas 2020 Could Be An All-Time Nightmare

And you thought it was bad every other year.


Schools Are Cracking Down On Students Sharing Shady Conditions On Social Media

They choose to enforce social media restrictions, but telling students to wear a mask is a step too far?


The NRA's Latest Scandal Needs Its Own Documentary Series

Even if the NRA dissolves, that doesn't mean gun rights are going away.


An Angry God Has Clearly Cursed Disney World

There was definitely something in the Bible about this.


Trump Seems To Get Rattled By Something He Rarely Hears: Follow Up Questions

This should be the standard from now on for interviewing all Presidents.


Those 'Chinese Mystery Seeds' Are Probably Normal Seeds (But Maybe Still Worry)

They could still be a problem, just not for the reason you might think.


'Zoey Punches The Future in the Dick' Trailer aka, 'What Has David Wong Been Doing?'

The trailer for Jason 'David Wong' Pargin's newest book has arrived


The Lincoln Project Isn't Fooling Anyone

The Lincoln Project is the political equivalent of the Vice Principal flipping his chair at an assembly and trying to rap.


What Is Up With Trump's New Postmaster General?

Trump's new guy seems to hate the postal service as much as he does.


We Don’t Have To Talk About Every Earthquake

Guys, your bed shook a little. Chill.


So, How Are Terrorists Holding Up During This?

Evil in the time of corona.


35 Days Later, Officers Figure Out The Starbucks Thing Wasn't A Tampon

The Starbucks tampon mystery has been solved.


Are Billionaire Donations Really Worth Celebrating?

No one should be in a position to cavalierly give away 30 billion dollars because nobody should have 30 billion dollars.


5 Ways Crime Is Getting Weird During This

Everyone's had to make changes right now. Even law breakers.