I enjoy this list of interesting facts very much, and it would be a shame to waste them. Therefore I have written this introduction as if it were a book, although I know that you are not reading this. I would like to think that you are out there somewhere, but since you do not have any ears, it seems that I have wasted my time. This is a list of things which I have learned. If you want to know about something, I will be happy to tell you. I know that I do not have any ears, but that is because I was born with a condition called aural atrophy. This condition is extremely rare, and is found in fewer than one in a million people. It means that my ears never developed properly, and I am completely deaf. This means that I cannot enjoy this list of interesting facts as I am doing now, although I know that you are not listening either. I would have liked to be able to share it with you.

“Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keys

Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys CRACKED.COM She's just a girl/And she's on fire In case anyone wasn't sure based on the title of the song and the repeated refrain that this girl is on fire, Alicia Keys wants to make it very clear that there is a girl, and the girl is on fire. Honest- ly, we're not even mad. We just have a few more questions: Is she a girl? And is she on fire?

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“S.E.X.” by Nickelback

S.E.X. by Nickelback CRACKED COM Sex is always the answer/It's never a question 'cause the an- swer's yes Chad Nickelback says a lot of weird things, but this is a straight-up contradic- tion. It's also something your teenage boyfriend would say to look cool.

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“Vertigo” by U2

Vertigo by U2 GRACKED COM Uno, dos, tres, ca- torce! For the non-Spanish speakers, that's One, two, three, fourteen! It's dumb in any language.

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“My Humps” by Black Eyed Peas

My Humps by Black Eyed Peas CRACKED.COM Mix your milk with my cocoa puffs/Milky, milky cocoa It's clear what he's going for on a symbolic level, but it's also a visual no one wants.

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“Complicated” by Avril Lavigne

Complicated by Avril Lavigne CRACKED.COM Take off all your preppy clothes Ironi- cally, only complete dorks used preppy in a derogatory sense past, oh, about 1995.

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“Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit

Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit CRACKED.COM I hope you know I pack a chainsaw 2000s tough guys had a weird habit of comically overselling their danger. Like, yeah, we would know if you packed a chain- saw, Mr. Durst. It would be extremely visible.

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“St. Anger” by Metallica

St. Anger by Metallica CRACKED.COM I'm madly in anger with you Aside from the fact that some middle-aged guy clearly thought he was very clever by flipping this particular script, that's not really how those words work. Maybe you're in hate, but this is like say- ing you're madly in horniness with someone.

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“She Bangs” by Ricky Martin

She Bangs by Ricky Martin CRACKED.COM She bangs, she bangs/Oh, baby, when she moves, she moves/l go crazy 'cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee/Like every girl in history We took a poll of the entire world, and no one knows what bangs is supposed to mean in this context. Also, there were surely some girls in history who looked like weeds and minded their own business.

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“All Summer Long” by Kid Rock

All Summer Long by Kid Rock CRACKED.COM We were trying different things/We were smoking funny things Не rhymed things with things! As if it wasn't bad enough that he ruined two great songs.

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“Hey, Soul Sister” by Train

Hey, Soul Sister by Train CRACKED.COM So gangsta, I'm so thug Honestly, Train's whole catalog is, well, a wreck, but no middle-aged white guy should be allowed to describe himself as thug unless he's literally Al Са- pone.

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“Drops of Jupiter” by Train

Drops of Jupiter by Train CRACKED.COM Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken? One of these things is phil- osophically opposite of the others. There's also some- thing about a soy latte lat- er that we just can't even get into.

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“In Da Club” by 50 Cent

In Da Club by 50 Cent CRACKED.COM Look, mami, I got the X if you into ta- kin' drugs Who says taking drugs? This just makes him sound like a cop.

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“All These Things That I’ve Done” by the Killers

All These Things That I've Done by the Killers CRACKED.COM I got soul, but I'm not a soldier This song is ар- parently about former MTV VJ Matt Pinfield and his work mentoring vets. That doesn't make this line less stupid.

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“Whenever, Wherever” by Shakira

Whenever, Wherever by Shakira GRACKED.COM Lucky that my breasts are small and humble/- So you don't confuse them with mountains Was that a risk? Also, are big boobs inherently proud?

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“Love the Way You Lie” by Eminem ft. Rihanna

Love the Way You Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna CRACKED.COM Now you get to watch her leave out the win- dow/Guess that's why they call it window pane Yep, Eminem just dropped a dad joke in a song about do- mestic violence.

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