Cracked Archive - News

A Guide to Holiday Cocktails Written After Drinking Them All

Holiday drinks, much like candy canes and pfeffernusse cookies, have only survived as long as they have because humanity spends eleven months each year forgetting how disgusting they are.


The 25 Most Popular Articles of 2011

The views have been tallied. The critics have been ignored. Nothing but the hits: the 25 most crazy popular articles we put up this year.


A Letter to Parents About the Fake 'Teen Crazes' on the News

Dear Future Version of Myself,: I suspect that you may be an idiot. I'm writing this letter in hopes that you'll become a better person.


The 6 Stupidest Internet Reactions To Shocking News Stories

The Internet, as you might've guessed, is the king of stupid reactions. Here are a few of the most predictable and annoying reactions you'll get on any big story.


3 Types of Wall Street Protesters Hurting Their Own Cause

Why not let the best and brightest move to the front. And while you're at it, maybe let these three other kinds of people just, y'know, clap and hand out fliers ...


The 8 Most Shameless Attempts to Cash in on 9/11

The worst insults to America and capitalism not video taped in a cave.


6 Ways to Get Anyone to Believe a Clearly Fake News Story

As we continue to see more fake news stories trick people into believing, it's important to see just how they're doing it.


6 Pro-Gay Marriage Arguments for Fighting With Crazy People

Many anti-gay marriage arguments do for reasoned debate what MC Escher did for staircases.


5 Types of Scandals That Are Always Disappointing

When I say 'scandal,' I'm not just talking about personal screw-ups, but all the sensational news that we read only because it sounds like something out of a suspense novel or movie, and are prepared to criticize in the same way as we would criticize a poor fictional storyline.


3 Things Gay People Are Going to Hate About Gay Marriage

We aren't trying to sway people's thinking one way or the other. But seriously, let's stop to think things through.


How To Be a Person: A Guide to Life for the Recent Graduate

Greetings, graduating classes of 2011! Congratulations on accomplishing all you have accomplished to get here, and pre-congratulations on all the accomplishments you will surely accomplish in your accomplishful futures.