Cracked Archive - Music

This song is fake.


Infiltrating a Gang Based on My Knowledge of 'West Side Story'

\'Did you and your crew ever have to dance your way out of a potential scuffle?\'


The 6 Most Atrocious Uses of Facial Hair in Music History

Adam Brown and Kristi Harrison feel it is their responsibility to deconstruct what has to be some of the most atrocious facial hair in the music industry.


6 Words That Need to Be Banned from the English Language

There are a few words that, very often, make me sick to my stomach, and, it turns out, I'm not the only one.


I'm Starting to Doubt Lil Wayne's Research Skills...

You said Tom Petty, but you probably meant Richard Petty or Kyle Petty who both happen to be famous NASCAR drivers.


Battle of the Sexes: Judging The 8 Most Iconic Bras Ever Worn

You know how people always bitch about science taking time out of its day to solve inconsequential problems while a cure for cancer is still nowhere in sight? Well this is a lot like that. Instead of using this prime comedy real estate to shed light on one of the many issues currently plaguing our great nation, we're talking about titties.


A Review of Armond White's Review of Toy Story 3

Dear Armond White: Watch movies better.


8 Douchebags Who Found This Article By Googling Themselves

Eight individuals who are so self-obsessed that they don't even need nudity to masturbate when they find themselves on the Web.


The 7 Most Impossible Rock Stars to Deal With

DMX is not in any way exaggerating when he describes being a bad, bad man in his songs.


5 Lovable Animals You Didn't Know Are Secretly Terrifying

Here are a bunch of adorable animals that will probably nonetheless scar you for life. Let's skip the pleasantries and get right down to hyperventilating and swearing at nature, shall we?


10 Survival Tips Now That Google Knows You're On To Them

Now that we\'ve sounded the \'Oh shit, run!!!\' alarm, allow us to tell you where you should be running, and what ammunition will be deemed fashionable once you arrive.


The 19 Most Hilariously Failed Attempts at Sexy Album Covers

Not every musician is suitable for the role of sexy cover model. Somehow, music producers missed that fact.


The 5 Most Famous Musicians Who Are Thieving Bastards

We know musicians 'borrow' music all the time, but this is flat ridiculous.


Fastfood Meals for Failures

These are terrible meals invented by awful people who hate you, and they're perfect for anytime it dawns on you that the entirety of human existence is just an insignificant sneeze on the spectrum of time. And I have had every one of them.