Cracked Archive - Music

The 5 Most Badass Musical Instruments Ever Built

Whether it's rock and roll with its blistering solos, classical with its ominous overtones, or jazz with its black people, music is already pretty damn cool. The only way it could get cooler? These:

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Why It's Time for YouTube to Ban Song Parodies

It has been several years since Weird Al Yankovic last reared his goofy head and released an album of popular song parodies. In his absence, everyone with a YouTube account has accepted Al's dare to be stupid. The result has been, at best, pretty horrible. At worst, the dare has resulted in countless parodies of The Lonely Island's I'm On A Boat.'

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The 8 Things You Can Do With a Cover Song [COMIC]

From All Along the Watchtower to Madonna pretending to play the guitar.

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How to Deal With Things You Hate for No Reason [COMIC]

Be reasonable ... unless it's John Cougar Mellencamp, who is undoubtedly that spawn of satan.

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How to Come Up With an Awesome Band Name [COMIC]

Don't get distracted by learning to play music.

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What Are Your Top 5 Crime Scene Albums?

You've just murdered someone and you're allowed to drop five CDs. What are they going to be?

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Why Eminem Needs to Find Something New to Rap About

Don't you realize you can just make some shit up? If you wanted to write a song about pistol whipping the Insane Clown Posse roadie who was making out with your wife, just write that shit. You don't actually have to go out and beat up a clown to do it.

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19 Unintentionally Terrifying Children's Album Covers

It's true that the world looks more innocent through a child's eyes. But album covers, even those made for kids, are designed by grown-up, world-hardened and bitter adults. So sometimes you just have to ask, what the hell were they thinking?

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This song is fake.

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Infiltrating a Gang Based on My Knowledge of 'West Side Story'

\'Did you and your crew ever have to dance your way out of a potential scuffle?\'

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The 6 Most Atrocious Uses of Facial Hair in Music History

Adam Brown and Kristi Harrison feel it is their responsibility to deconstruct what has to be some of the most atrocious facial hair in the music industry.

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6 Words That Need to Be Banned from the English Language

There are a few words that, very often, make me sick to my stomach, and, it turns out, I'm not the only one.

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I'm Starting to Doubt Lil Wayne's Research Skills...

You said Tom Petty, but you probably meant Richard Petty or Kyle Petty who both happen to be famous NASCAR drivers.

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