Empires of Crap - Billy Bowles: Teen Prince Of Florida

Imagine if a person tried to live their dreams only to discover that they actually were a charismatic leader, a talented pirate, and a surprisingly good escape artist. That's the story of Willam Augustus Bowles, aspiring King of Florida, who lived one of the coolest lives of the 18th century before his own delusions of grandeur ate him alive ...

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Kim Kardashian tried to trademark the word "kimono" as if she came up with the word all by herself during the time she spent in 1600s Feudal Japan. Tom Brady tried to trademark "Tom Terrific" just to dissuade people from calling him that. It's like if your mom tried to trademark "Sasquatch." Celebrities are rarely awarded the dumb trademarks they apply for. That's why it's cause for celebration when they actually get them. So join me as we celebrate rapper Pitbull's intellectual property victory as he successfully trademarked the 'EEEEEEEYOOOOOO' sound he shouts on every song he's ever recorded. If you've never heard it, here's way too much of it in a row:

The sound is called a grito ("scream" in Spanish. As in, "La musica de Pitbull hace mis canarios dar un grito." ) You've probably heard traditional Mexican singers do it too, just when they do it they don't sound like the way a cruise director begins his morning announcements before telling you to stop ducking under the buffet sneeze guards to sniff the smoked salmon.

Pitbull's grito is actually kind of historic. The NYU School of Law believes this might be the first time a specific sound made in a musical recording has been successfully trademarked. For that to have even happened means Pitbull's 'EEEEEEEYOOOOOO' is immediately recognizable as a sound that only he would have the audacity to record and put on every song. Think of it like a painter signing their work, but their signature is the sound of tires screeching before a car slams into a tree. The implications are huge. Now if you illegally sample a song, a musical artist will be able to sue for copyright infringement and trademark infringement. This is a win for petty musicians everywhere!

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Catch him on the "In Broad Daylight" podcast with Cracked alums Adam Tod Brown and Ian Fortey! Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's BunnyEars.com and his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast. And now you can listen to the first episode on Youtube!

Top image: Oz91/WikimediaCommons

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