Cracked Archive - Music

How to Deal With Things You Hate for No Reason [COMIC]

Be reasonable ... unless it's John Cougar Mellencamp, who is undoubtedly that spawn of satan.

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How to Come Up With an Awesome Band Name [COMIC]

Don't get distracted by learning to play music.

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What Are Your Top 5 Crime Scene Albums?

You've just murdered someone and you're allowed to drop five CDs. What are they going to be?

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Why Eminem Needs to Find Something New to Rap About

Don't you realize you can just make some shit up? If you wanted to write a song about pistol whipping the Insane Clown Posse roadie who was making out with your wife, just write that shit. You don't actually have to go out and beat up a clown to do it.

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19 Unintentionally Terrifying Children's Album Covers

It's true that the world looks more innocent through a child's eyes. But album covers, even those made for kids, are designed by grown-up, world-hardened and bitter adults. So sometimes you just have to ask, what the hell were they thinking?

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This song is fake.

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Infiltrating a Gang Based on My Knowledge of 'West Side Story'

\'Did you and your crew ever have to dance your way out of a potential scuffle?\'

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The 6 Most Atrocious Uses of Facial Hair in Music History

Adam Brown and Kristi Harrison feel it is their responsibility to deconstruct what has to be some of the most atrocious facial hair in the music industry.

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6 Words That Need to Be Banned from the English Language

There are a few words that, very often, make me sick to my stomach, and, it turns out, I'm not the only one.

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I'm Starting to Doubt Lil Wayne's Research Skills...

You said Tom Petty, but you probably meant Richard Petty or Kyle Petty who both happen to be famous NASCAR drivers.

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Battle of the Sexes: Judging The 8 Most Iconic Bras Ever Worn

You know how people always bitch about science taking time out of its day to solve inconsequential problems while a cure for cancer is still nowhere in sight? Well this is a lot like that. Instead of using this prime comedy real estate to shed light on one of the many issues currently plaguing our great nation, we're talking about titties.

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A Review of Armond White's Review of Toy Story 3

Dear Armond White: Watch movies better.

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