Cracked Archive - Music
The 6 Least Hip Internet References in Song Lyric History
There's a fine line between 'artful inclusion' and 'unskilled name-dropping,' and the following songs dove headfirst into the latter, awkwardly revealing that on the whole, pop stars simply do not use computers.
- By Jason Iannone
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- January 24, 2013
The 6 Most Hilarious Failures in Music Censorship History
Somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 percent of the people reading this think music censorship is stupid.
- By Mike Floorwalker
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- January 20, 2013
The 4 Types of Bar: A Survival Guide
Even though I like bars, they are not all the same. They come in all shapes and sizes, and our young, impressionable readers need a sexy older man with a misspent life to shepherd them
- By Gladstone
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- January 15, 2013
6 Screw-Ups by Famous Bands That Make Spinal Tap Look Smooth
Live music is a fickle beast. Any number of things can go wrong at any given moment, in completely hilarious ways no less.
- By Adam Wears, M.W.
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- December 11, 2012
5 Famous Bands That Are Clearly Ashamed of Key Members
It's a sad fact of life in a band that, sometimes, certain members are going to get a little less attention than others. And some bands take hiding their peripheral members to dizzying new heights.
- By Adam Tod Brown
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- November 27, 2012
6 Popular Songs You Didn't Know Have Dark Hidden Messages
The drawback of making a subtle point in song about the human condition is that nobody pays attention to subtle points in songs.
- By Andy Kneis
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- November 21, 2012
5 Music Videos That Justify the Existence of the Internet
These music videos would have been destroyed by production committees, and only exist because the Internet is a thing. And the world is better for it.
- By Luke McKinney
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- October 23, 2012
The 5 Least Necessary Cover Songs of All Time
There are cover songs that add absolutely nothing new and are a success merely for the artist's ability to ape everything that was good about the original. Here are five covers, competently played, but with shockingly little imagination.
- By Gladstone
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- October 19, 2012
5 Celebrities Who Get Way More Hate Than They Deserve
I'll make a joke about anything if the situation calls for it. But sometimes, believe it or not, I'm only joking. That's as true for 'awful' celebrities as it is for anyone or anything else.
- By Adam Tod Brown
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- October 14, 2012
5 Terrifying Origin Stories Behind Popular Children's Songs
As nauseatingly wholesome as children's songs may seem, sometimes there are corpses buried under those mountains of spaghetti.
- By John Kroes
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- September 21, 2012
The 10 Most Ridiculous Album Cover Trends of All Time
With an industry full of people getting paid loads of money to make decisions that don't matter, people are going to play it safe. Which is where you get trends like these.
- By C. Coville, Chris Holmes
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- September 14, 2012
5 Sappy Songs That Deserve Heavy Metal Makeovers
Metalheads, please don't school me on what bands are actually Metal or what Metal is. For the purposes of this column, I'm using the term somewhat loosely to convey loud, guitar-based rock played with dark intensity.
- By Gladstone
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- September 01, 2012
19 Famous Musicians Before They Were Photoshopped
The musicians you know and love haven't always looked that way. We asked you to show us what they looked like before their publicists demanded an electronic touch up.
- By Cracked Plasticians
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- August 19, 2012
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