Cracked Archive - Music

7 Things a Record Deal Teaches You About the Music Industry

My fairy tale lasted 11 months before they abruptly dropped me from my recording contract without ever releasing my album, despite my first single going gold (selling over 600,000 copies in just a few months).


6 Famous Musicians Who Swiped Their Biggest Hits from Others

Many times 'what it takes' has less to do with talent and more to do with the capacity to take songs someone else rejected or flat-out steal them from another artist.


5 Near-Deaths That Almost Changed Music History

It's true: Some of the biggest names in music history almost never had a chance to shine.


The 5 Most Baffling Hair Metal Videos of All Time

With nobody telling the musicians that they should probably stick to musicianing, we ended up with adventures in idiocy such as these.


5 Covers That Improved the Lyrics of Famous Songs

I got drunk, and when I woke up I decided to do an article about the five best changed lyrics in music history.


The 5 Best Songs Hiding on YouTube (Part 2)

Happiness is better than anger, so here are five golden nuggets I found while panning the Internet.


The 5 Best Jokes Ever Told (Without a Single Word)

Sometimes comedy doesn't require a one-liner.


The 5 Worst Lyric Changes in Covers of Famous Songs

Let's explore the five times artists changed lyrics in a way that deserves derision, scorn, and abuse!


10 Great Songs by the Worst Bands of All Time (Part 2)

If last week's column taught me anything, it's that no one is reading this.


10 Great Songs By the Worst Bands of All Time

I listened to a lot of bad music to bring you this list.


The 4 Worst Things that Happen When You Meet Your Heroes

You know what they say, be careful about meeting your heroes because they're probably horrible monster-people.


5 Famous Musicians Who Correctly Predicted Their Own Death

Who knows when and how death's grim hand will come to us? Musicians, apparently.


4 Famous Musicians That Specialize in Onstage Meltdowns

The four singers on this list, as unspeakably talented as they all may be, have long rap sheets for offenses related to the crime of storming off in a huff when things onstage start going awry.


5 Things Your Favorite Band Does to Exploit You

Overzealous fans can be an endless source of income for a successful band.