If you have any kind of active fantasy life, you've got at least a vague idea of what you're going to do when society turns into zombies. We're here to tell you those are all bad ideas. All of them.
Here are some mind-blowing moments from real life that Hollywood decided were too fantastic, even for their movies.
The Umbrella Corporation is the most stupidly evil corporation in history.
Get your tinfoil hats ready, because these can't just be a coincidence.
When I got into foreign action movies as a kid in the '90s, subtitling was a job we gave to alcoholic head trauma victims to make them feel useful to society again. Those jobs, like many, have since moved online.
I write screenplays that feature none of this crap, so it can be done! Please buy my screenplay. Or just don't make these movies. Whatevs.
'I had a speech prepared to talk about Aaron Eckhart, but then I realized it would be the film's third podium speech in less than nine minutes.'
It's hard to believe in this day, but you can actually find shows creeping around that seem to not just exist in a vacuum, but revel in just how intolerant or ignorant of race they are.
As it turns out, some of the most nightmarish cartoons predate even your grandparents/
Here now are unintentionally hilarious movies -- movies that missed the mark so widely all you can do is cackle through confused tears of joy, delighted by the raw, stupid chaos of the void.
Well look at that, it's not the writer's fault after all!
These celebrities just couldn't turn down the chance to whore themselves out for ridiculous instructional videos that, deep down, they knew would help no one except future comedy writers.
One of the reasons Jackie Chan movies are so amazing is that he replaces Hollywood magic with balls. However, like all balls, Jackie's didn't always make sense.