Cracked Archive - Movies & TV

If 'Django' Was 10 Times Shorter and 100 Times More Honest

CHRISTOPH shoots all the SLAVE TRADERS and FOUR GALLONS OF BLOOD spurt onto the screen, followed by SIX MORE GALLONS of BLOOD.

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6 Deleted Backstories That Totally Change Classic Movies

Sometimes important stuff is cut from films, and sometimes that stuff includes character moments and backstories that kind of change the whole way you look at the film.

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The Craziest TV Show Ever Greenlit by a Television Network

Since the 1980s, Robosaurus has defended your constitutional right to watch robot facsimiles of extinct animals eat sedans.

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3 Movies They Don't Make Anymore (But Really Should)

As much as I think 2012 was a great year for movies, it's also another in a long line of years where some of my favorite types of movies were absent.

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5 Little-Known Sequels That Ruined Iconic Stories

These are the sequels that seem like they were written by someone whose only knowledge of the original came from overhearing a drunk hobo explain the plot an hour before their assignment was due.

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The 5 Most Badass Movie Scenes That Happened in Real Life

Sometimes, real life does in fact resemble a Michael Bay movie, only minus the giant robots (usually).

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The 5 Craziest Ways Famous Actors Got Into Character

Actors are crazy, yes, but these actors adopted a special kind of "woo-hoo" and turned it into genius.

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5 Popular Excuses That Are Totally Meaningless

We see a problem, make an excuse for it, and forget about the problem. But the problem still exists.

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6 Places You'll Recognize from the Background of Every Movie

Here are six locations with more robust IMDb pages (and better managers, apparently) than 80 percent of Hollywood.

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The 4 Craziest Holiday Episodes of '80s Cartoons

While most Christmas things are presents for the kids, cartoon Christmas episodes are presents for the parents: They're the only sure way to get the kids to just sit down for a bit, sweetie, Mommy and Daddy are very tired. Which may be why parents in the 1980s didn't notice that their kids were watching solid crazy.

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The 5 Most Baffling Pieces of Christmas Themed Fan Fiction

Without further ado, let's see the genital-shriveling ways your favorite characters celebrate the holidays.

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The 5 Most Disturbing Tween TV Show Universes

The problem with most tween TV, beyond the obvious, is the depressing and unfortunate world each one presents and never acknowledges.

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5 Ways 'Inspector Gadget' Totally Predicted the Future

Despite originally airing in the early '80s and having a shamelessly implausible cartoon premise, this cartoon managed to correctly predict more trends in the modern world than most serious speculative fiction novels.

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6 Terrible Plans in Movies That Just Sort of Work Out

We suspect that the real reason we aren't privy to movie character plans out front is because, most of the time, they'd sound pretty stupid if you said them out loud.

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