Cracked Archive - Celebrities

6 Successful Celebrities (Who Sucked At Everything Else)

Tom Cruise very nearly became synonymous with a religion known for worshiping a magical man in the sky and covering up child sex.


Little-Known Celebrity Underdog Stories

Chris Pratt used to live in a van in Hawaii because of course he did.


The 14 Saddest Ways Retired Celebrities 'Spend' Their Time

Steven Seagal's life is probably just as sad as you're imaging it.


8 Insane Early Roles Famous Actors Don't Want You To See

Some actors began their careers doing things that range in quality from 'embarrassing' to 'worthy of song and legend.'


5 Famous People Who Lost Everything (For Stupid Reasons)

Sure, these people may currently be elbow-deep in janitor buckets, but at least they each have a story to tell.


6 Celebrities (You Never Realized Have Terrifying Hobbies)

Mike Tyson is famous for punching people in the face. Pigeons are famous for pooping on your car. Together, they race!


The 5 Celebrity Arrests We'll Probably See Next

The fact that R. Kelly isn't behind bars already is quickly becoming one of life's most fascinating mysteries.


6 Famous People With Secret (Eerily Opposite) Family Members

The fact that Ben Franklin had an illegitimate son wasn't even the most awkward conversation had at the Franklin family dinner table.


6 Feel-Good Stories From 2015 That Had Horrible Endings

It pains us to inform you that all of those silly and life-affirming Internet stories that distracted from civilization's inexorable march into the void were just the E. coli icing on 2015's cake of turds.


5 Huge Celebrities With Insane Secret Backstories

Some celebrities take the scenic route to stardom, and wind up going down some strange back roads.


5 Great Actors With Dumb Early Roles They Hope We Forgot

In 1982, a promising young actor named Tom Hanks nailed his first movie role: a made-for-TV drama about the evils of tabletop RPGs.


8 Ways To Make Yourself A Better Person (With Ben Affleck)

Hi, my name is Pauli, and Ben Affleck helped me become a better person. Let's see how far he can take me.


6 WTF Origin Stories Behind Famous Pop-Culture Names

In a world where people will spend hours and hours of time coming up with the perfect name, these people just blindly stumbled into something iconic.


5 Awful People We Were Forced to Know In 2015

I know it's a weird thing to say, but when you get right down to it, there was no real reason for Martin Shkreli to be as big of a news story as he turned out to be in 2015.


17 Outrageous Lies Celebrities Thought They'd Get Away With

Mila Kunis wasn't 18 until the fourth season of 'That '70s Show.' We'll let that sink in for some of you.