Cracked Archive - Celebrities

Paparazzi Are Somehow Even More Useless Now
Paparazzi Are Somehow Even More Useless Now

The job of the paparazzi has gotten twice as difficult and 4x as useless

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Billie Eilish Is What Fashion Will Be For A Long Time
Billie Eilish Is What Fashion Will Be For A Long Time

Billie Eilish basically predicted the future.

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Like Us, Celebs Are Losing It, Because Everything Sucks Right Now
Like Us, Celebs Are Losing It, Because Everything Sucks Right Now

Reality is extremely balls at the moment.

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The Mockumentary Emerging From January Jones's Instagram Is Legit Art
The Mockumentary Emerging From January Jones's Instagram Is Legit Art

Apparently, she's been a surrealist comedy genius this whole time.

15
Kanye Summits Billionaire Mountain, Now What?
Kanye Summits Billionaire Mountain, Now What?

Like a cliched Christmas movie, we're left wondering -- what do you do for the guy who has everything?

22
Hopefully Tom Hanks Is In The Vaccine
Hopefully Tom Hanks Is In The Vaccine

As a side effect, you will develop a fascination with old typewriters.

10
Jesse Ventura Running For President Would Be Bonkers
Jesse Ventura Running For President Would Be Bonkers

We're hoping to see at least one clothesline.

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A 'Paparazzi-Proof' House Sounds Super Annoying
A 'Paparazzi-Proof' House Sounds Super Annoying

The cost of avoiding paparazzi goes way beyond the literal price tag.

8
Amy Schumer's Baby's Name Was Accidentally A Great Joke
Amy Schumer's Baby's Name Was Accidentally A Great Joke

Joke names aren't hard to come up with, but it's special when they actually show up on the birth certificate.

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Henry Cavill Is An Apex Nerd
Henry Cavill Is An Apex Nerd

Superman's hobby is super small.

26
It's Been A Big Week For Ugly Celebrity Houses
It's Been A Big Week For Ugly Celebrity Houses

Is it a Canadian thing? Is that why Justin Bieber's and Drake's houses are so hideous?

22
Aunt Becky's Daughters' Couldn't Even Fake Rowing Photos
Aunt Becky's Daughters' Couldn't Even Fake Rowing Photos

A picture is worth a thousand words, and even more in 'donation money.'

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Zach Braff’s 24 Year Old Girlfriend, Florence Pugh, Wants People To Leave Him Alone
Zach Braff’s 24 Year Old Girlfriend, Florence Pugh, Wants People To Leave Him Alone

Zach Braff isn't the first celebrity to date someone more than half his age, but he might be the most pathetic.

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Netflix, For God's Sake, Please Call Selena's Husband
Netflix, For God's Sake, Please Call Selena's Husband

Wouldn't you want to know anything about a Netflix series where you're going to be portrayed?

13
OJ Has Found A New Low Using 'Tiger King'
OJ Has Found A New Low Using 'Tiger King'

OJ's twitter video is so bizarre that one has to wonder if it is intentional.

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