Not only did he create everyone's first pun about breasts, he went one further than "boobs" and used "boobies." "Boobs" is awful enough, but "boobies" adds a layer of clown makeup and a child's pinwheel toy. People preach about rap music destroying moral values, but I think we should really be focusing on will.i.am making it OK for millions of teens to use the word "boobies." The next generation is doomed. Oh, look! A "Can You Identify These '90s Nickelodeon Cartoons?" quiz! JACKPOT.
Don't wanna squeeze trigger
Just wanna squeeze tits
Despite the word usage, this is a fairly admirable cause. But good intentions aside, it doesn't change the fact that will.i.am's revolutionary "Squeeze tits, not war" campaign sounds like a "cool" Facebook status that I'd write in ninth grade, just before deleting it because I remembered that I was friends with my dad.
Mommy looking good from her head to her feet
She 44, but she still looking sweet
And you can tell her daughter ain't even at her peak
'Cause her momma lookin' so hot, packin' that heat
So be a good girl and thank your momma
There's nothing legally wrong with "I Got It From My Mama," because the daughter that will.i.am describes is 24. But there are so many social obligations that are tossed away to make this rap scenario come alive, the first being to not ask a girl to thank her mom for the hotness that she'll eventually inherit. I've never said, "I see where she gets her good looks from!" to a girlfriend's mother, and I'll probably refrain from adding, "You should thank her for that. Really. Your mom is the reason that I get so many erections," if I ever do.