The 25 Funniest Lines from the ‘Futurama’ Pilot on Its 25th Anniversary

All the best punchlines from the first-ever ‘Futurama’ episode on its 25th birthday
The 25 Funniest Lines from the ‘Futurama’ Pilot on Its 25th Anniversary

It’s been a quarter-century since we were first introduced to the next millennium, but the humor hasn’t aged a day.

On March 28, 1999, Fox aired the first episode of FuturamaMatt Groening’s first animated follow-up to his smash hit series The Simpsons. The lifespan of Futurama may not have been nearly as stress (and cancelation) free as its yellow, paunchy progenitor, but the mere fact that Futurama is still kicking after all this time is a cause for celebration no matter how you clamp it. And, since the series premiered, the events of the Futurama pilot episode, fittingly titled, “Space Pilot 3000,” have been remixed and added onto in subsequent episodes to the point where Fry’s “accidental” adventure into the the 31st century is half-origin story and half-myth in the Futurama universe. 

Upon revisit, the most shocking aspects of the Futurama pilot are, frankly, how well it holds up and how accurately it represents the tone of the rest of the series. So, on its 25th birthday, here are the 25 best lines from “Space Pilot 3000,” starting with…

“Welcome to the world of tomorrow!” “Why do you always have to say it like that?”

“Oh, come on, he’s just a poor kid from the Stupid Ages!”

“Well, Fry, it was a pleasure meeting you. I’m gonna go kill myself.”

“It’s up to you to make your own decisions in life. That’s what separates people and robots from animals... and animal robots.”

“Alright! I’m a delivery boy!”

“It’s my old neighborhood. Man, this brings back a lot of memories.” “Keep ’em to yourself, Pops!”

“What’s with the eye?”

“If someone programmed you to jump off a bridge would you do it?” “I’ll have to check my program... yep.”

“My God! A million years!”

“Are we gonna fly through space fighting monsters and teaching alien women to love?” “If by that you mean ‘transporting cargo,’ then yes!”

“Ow! Stop it! Down, boy! Bad president!”

“What happened to the old crew?” “Of those poor sons of— But that’s not important. The important thing is I need a new crew. Anyone interested?”

“Well, that’s your job, whether you like it or not. And it’s my job to make you do your job whether I like it or not, which I do, very much! Now get to work!”

“You’re full of crap, Fry! (Bender gets electrocuted) You make a persuasive argument, Fry!”

“You’ll be fired.” “Fine!” “Out of a cannon into the sun.”

“My God! It’s the future. My parents, my co-workers, my girlfriend; I’ll never see any of them again. Yahoo!”

“Why would a robot need to drink?” “I don’t need to drink, I can quit anytime I want!”

“You are now dead. Thank you for using Stop-N-Drop, America’s favourite suicide booth since 2008.”

“Well, at least here you’ll be treated with dignity. Now strip naked and get on the probulator.”

“Please select mode of death: Quick and painless, or Slow and horrible.” “Yeah, I’d like to place a collect call.”

“Bite my shiny metal ass!”

“Can’t we get away in the ship?” “I suppose it is technically possible. Though I am already in my pajamas.”

“Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end, and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.”

“Over there is my intergalactic spaceship! And here’s where I keep assorted lengths of wire!”

“Hello? Pizza delivery for, uh, I.C. Wiener?”


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