15 Funny Jokes About Football

15 Funny Jokes About Football

It’s that time of year again! The time where we sit down every Sunday, Monday and (ugh) Thursday to watch large men slamming into one another to get an oddly shaped ball from one side of a 100-yard field to another (or fail to do so if you’re the Houston Texans). Whether you’re a fan or not, football has tackled itself into American pop culture and, thus, into comedy as well. 

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And so, here are some football jokes riddled with C.T.E. (comedy that’s entertaining)...

McCringleberry’s Excessive Celebration

Key & Peele knows you can’t be cocky on the field. Just do two pumps and avoid the penalty; it’s not hard!

‘Don’t Throw It to Me, Don’t Throw It to Me…’

Robot Chicken made a football sketch about Star Wars because, of course, they did. Nerd stuff is their thing, naturally.

Springfield’s Progressive Pee-Wee Football Team

On The Simpsons, Lisa is thrown off-guard after finding out how strangely forward-thinking the Pee-Wee football team is.

‘Water Sucks. Gatorade’s Better’

In The Waterboy, Sandler gets to defend the good name of H2O in one of his more celebrated insane sports comedies.

Greg Fitzsimmons Believes All Football Teams Should Be What They Are

“Whatever your team says they are, that’s what they should have to be. If you’re the San Francisco 49ers, your entire team should be 49-year-old men. Just in the huddle complaining of hemorrhoids and bad backs… Chicago Bears should come out as real bears with helmets on, playing against 11 dolphins just dead on the field by halftime.”

Bill Burr Likes Florida State But Hates Their Fans

“I actually like Florida State, but that tomahawk chop thing drives me nuts. It has nothing to do with the Native American thing; it’s the fact that they do it every three seconds. You know white people came up with that in the 1920s when they got sound in movies. ‘What do they sound like?’ ‘I don’t know.’ They got some moron on the set just going (stereotypical chant). ‘That sounds good; put some rouge on his face and have him do it with an ax.’”

When the Billdozer Came Out of Retirement

On King of the Hill, Bill Dauterive relived his past high school football glory for one last play. Was it worth the multiple ligament and muscle tears? No.

‘Drunk History’ on When Roosevelt Saved Football

Katie Nolan, the lip-syncing talents of Rob Riggle and booze help explain how Teddy Roosevelt prevented football from becoming a banned sport in the U.S.

Jenny Slate Thinks Football is Sweet and Cute

When Slate watches football, she likes to imagine that the team is made of best friends who like to dress alike and “run after the toy.”

Billy ‘The Gun’ Van Goff

Saturday Night Live goes into the history of football and the time when firearms were officially banned from the sport.

George Carlin’s Baseball versus Football Analysis

Many argue that football deserves the “America’s Pastime” label instead of baseball, but Carlin isn’t sure. However, he can contrast how different these sports are from one another, mostly by how optimistic and bright baseball is compared to how negative and war-like football is.

Brian Regan’s Football Career

Regan is best known as one of the most respected stand-up comedy veterans today, but back when he was in school, he had great potential to possibly go pro on the gridiron. In fact, NFL Films did a short feature on him.

‘Family Guy’ Breaks Down the NFL Experience

Key & Peele’s Annual East/West Bowl

There’s a reason Key & Peele kept revisiting this premise throughout their show. Possibly the series’ magnum opus. (Which, come to think of it, could have been a player name.)

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