12 Inauspicious Bits of Trivia That Have Forged an Unlikely Fellowship to Save the World from a Great Evil

12 Inauspicious Bits of Trivia That Have Forged an Unlikely Fellowship to Save the World from a Great Evil

The Council of Elrond has tasked me with assembling these tidbits from every corner of Middle-earth in the hopes that one’s strength might balance another’s weakness, and that, when bound together by adventure, hardship and heartache, they might become more powerful than the evil that hunts us.

Anyway, I’m kinda busy with this Balrog. Fly, you fools!

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A Woman Flew Higher Than Everest (Completely Unconscious)

Paraglider Ewa Wiśnierska once got sucked up into a humongous storm cloud, was knocked unconscious by a combination of subzero temperatures, lack of oxygen and hail, and floated around at 32,631 feet for about 45 minutes, according to her equipment. She then zapped back awake as she plummeted toward the ground (and somehow managed to land safely). (Source)

Five Countries Don’t Have Airports

Monaco, San Marino, Andorra, Liechtenstein and the Vatican will never know the joys of purchasing a $20 bag of trail mix at a Hudson News. They happen to be some of the smallest countries around — Andorra, the 17th smallest country in the world, is the largest of the group. (Source)

Scotland’s National Animal Is Even More Bizarre Than America’s

The bald eagle looks cool, but let’s face it: It’s just a thicc seagull. Scotland, however, has adopted the unicorn as their official national animal. (Source)

The Great Nordic Border Crisis

The 150-kilometer fence between Norway and Russia is breaking down, allowing for a deluge of 42 reindeer to cascade across the border. Because the migrants are trespassing on a national park, Russia is trying to fine Norway $4.4 million. (Source)

’SNL’ Wouldn’t Quit Picking on Chelsea Clinton

They’re given a lot of credit for leaving Barron Trump alone, but they haven’t always been so gracious. In a Wayne’s World sketch, SNL’s writers made it clear they thought Al Gore’s daughters were hotter than Bill’s daughter. Then, in 1993, Julia Sweeney caught flack from Hillary for playing a pointedly unattractive Chelsea. She says it wasn’t on purpose, and that “all I did was not wear makeup and put braces on.” But with the passage of time, she’s on Clinton’s side: “I understood what Hillary was saying, especially now that I’m a parent. It’s like, yeah fuck off. I mean, don’t play kids.” (Source)

Australia’s Pyromaniac Birds of Prey

Aboriginal legends about “firehawks” have been confirmed by firefighters and ornithologists: Some species of birds are attracted to smoke, because they know they can pick off prey escaping a fire. They’ve even been observed carrying flaming rubble across roads and rivers to further spread the fire. (Source)

Written Language Probably Evolved From Counting

The oldest written artifact in the world is thought to be the Kish Tablet from approximately 3300 B.C. It shows an early system of writing that had relatively recently evolved from symbolic tokens used to keep track of commercial transactions. Picture Settlers of Catan resource cards. (Source)

The Largest-Ever Crowd for a Women’s Sporting Event Was for a College Volleyball Game

Nebraska’s hyper-popular women’s volleyball team just set the record at 92,003 in Lincoln’s famous Memorial Stadium. The previous record, 90,185, was set at the 1999 World Cup soccer final where Brandi Chastain tore off her shirt, scandalously revealing another, smaller shirt underneath. (Source)

A Copper Scavenger Kneecapped Armenia’s Internet

A 75-year-old woman allegedly thought she’d found a bunch of abandoned wires outside of her village in Georgia, and hacked them up to sell the copper. They turned out to be the wires that deliver 90 percent of Armenia’s internet. For her part, she insists that she’s too frail to have physically committed the crime, and also said, “I have no idea what the internet is.” (Source)

The Tallest Unoccupied Building in the World

For a long time, it was North Korea’s 105-story dystopian kaiju butt plug, the Ryugyong Hotel. But China’s 128-story Goldin Finance 117 has taken up the mantle, having been started in 2008 but abandoned twice so far. (Source)

The Entire Recorded History of the NBA Is in a Nuke-Proof Bunker in New Jersey

The NBA’s corporate archives, including all the game tape it’s ever recorded, is maintained in a gigantic vault in a mountain in New Jersey. (Source)

Constipation Amnesia

At least two people have reported shitting so hard, they temporarily, but completely, forgot who they were. It’s thought that they gave themselves vasovagal syncope, which is what happens when weightlifters strain so hard they pass out. (Source)

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