13 Dark Humor Jokes About Education
Pink Floyd famously sang, “We don’t need no education,” an ironic point given the double negative within the lyric. But while education is a need, school isn’t always fun. If anything, it’s the exact opposite of fun, which is why you’re doomed to eternal recurring nightmares of eighth-grade algebra tests and heat-seeking dodgeballs in gym class.
With that in mind, here are some of the darkest jokes comedic minds have conjured about education...
Nate Bargatze Went to Remedial College
“I took reading (class) as well. I drove to that class. You know what that feels like? I’ve driven to a reading class. I’m not even an immigrant; I’m from here. I should have knocked that out years ago.”
Amy Silverberg’s Writing Class
Aside from comedy, Silverberg teaches writing at the University of Southern California, with one of her lessons allowing her students to write a story about anything. This led to a student writing about having sex. With his teacher.
Fortune Feimster’s Kindergarten Hammer
“I have a picture of me at five years old, in kindergarten class, and I’m holding a hammer and nails.” That’s the first reality bomb Feimster dropped about her kindergarten experience in the 1980s, and it just keeps going from there.
Nore Davis on Teacher Retirement
“When somebody from the NBA retires, their jersey is in the rafters, and they’re like, ‘I had a good time, thank you for the career, goodnight!’ When a teacher retires, they’re just like, ‘I’m done! That’s it!’ Do you want a party? ‘No! This never happened! Fuck those kids! I’m ghost!’”
‘Saturday Night Live’s A Teacher
Saturday Night Live presents a clip from a show about an inappropriate student/teacher relationship that thankfully never gets off the ground.
‘Robot Chicken’s Magic School Bus
Sometimes you should make sure that the “magic” school bus emphasizes the “magic” part when you’re taking a dangerous field trip.
Caleb Hearon Got Roasted By His Favorite Student
When Hearon had to tell his favorite unruly student to put away his phone, his student told him off, and it was the funniest thing he ever heard. On top of that, Hearon had an epiphany about this student.
Christina Pazsitzky’s Fight in Middle School
Pazsitsky went to an integrated middle school right after the L.A. riots in the 1990s and shared her experience on This Is Not Happening. Tensions were high, with things taking a turn for a goth girl like her.
Norm Macdonald on Attention Deficit Disorder in Class
“Nowadays, they have the ADD and stuff like that. If a kid’s in class and they’re like, ‘Hey, I’d like to go out,’ they go, ‘We’re gonna drug you.’”
Farewell, Mr. Bunting
Saturday Night Live did an homage to Dead Poets Society. A bloody, bloody homage.
‘Saturday Night Live’s Preschool Teacher
You know preschoolers aren’t in the best hands when their teacher is Sam “SCREAM AT THE WORLD’S INJUSTICE” Kinison.
John Mulaney’s Teacher Friend
George Carlin on Why Education Sucks
Carlin goes into why the American education system is subpar by design. It’s due to “the owners.”