‘American Pie’ Has Reached Its Logical Conclusion: Jason Biggs Is Now Promoting Frozen Pies

It’s finally happening. Jason Biggs is using his American Pie fame to sell actual warm apple pies to people who probably didn’t actually watch the first movie.

Biggs recently partnered with Edwards Desserts to begin hawking a line of hot, seductive pastries in what is probably the first marketing strategy in history in which a company sells food by using a celebrity endorsement from a guy famous for fucking that food. Biggs helped his new partners to devise a signature dish, the Pie Lovers Passion Fruit, which he hopefully created using his hands and no other part of his body.

Speaking to People, Biggs cheekily proclaimed, “Apple pie and I have a very long storied history together, lots of ups and downs, mostly ups,” which is pretty much exactly what everyone says when they get back together with an ex.

“I remember when I first read the script, I thought it was so great, unlike anything else I had read,” Biggs said of American Pie, and, specifically, the scene that changed his relationship with the dessert forever. Biggs recalled the performance anxiety he experienced before the big moment, saying, “The day of filming came and I had this momentary freakout where I thought, ‘Oh geez, what if no one sees this? Or what if they do see it?’ And they think, ‘What the heck did that guy do? Why would he do that? That's awful.’ My confidence waned.”

Thankfully, Biggs had a wingman to help him through the experience of popping his cherry (or apple), explaining, “I called my manager, and I remember telling him like, ‘Dude, am I really about to go in there and do this with a pie? Is this porn? Am I tripping? Is this not as funny as I thought it was? Am I really going to do this?’ And he literally told me, ‘Jason, you go in there, and you hump that pie with all you got,.”

“I went in there, and I was like, ‘Okay, 110 percent, here we go,’ and I did the first take and there was this quick pause and I remember thinking, ‘Oh my God, what's happening?’ And all of a sudden, everyone on set burst out laughing and I thought, ‘Oh, this is amazing. This is a home run.’” Upon consummating his craving, Biggs’ relief was instant, or as he puts it, “Since that moment, I’ve never ever questioned anything. That was a turning point in my life where I was like, ‘No, if I think it’s funny, you just go for it. If you fall flat on your face, so be it.’”

Nearly 25 years later, Biggs is cashing in on the moment when he went from boy to man with his mom’s apple pie. Those who purchase Biggs’ limited edition signature pie will also receive an autograph from the actor himself — hopefully that’s all that Biggs puts on the pie.