Doing the ‘American Pie’ Arithmetic on Jennifer Coolidge’s Self-Professed Body Count
Here’s a not-so-shocking headline: Jennifer Coolidge Likes Sleeping With Young Men.
The White Lotus star quite literally started her career as a cougar when she played the quintessential MILF, Stifler’s Mom, in the 1999 coming-of-age sex comedy, American Pie. In the years since, Coolidge claimed to have accrued a hefty body count, once saying that her breakout role has bagged her almost 200 new sexual partners, a number that seemed unfeasibly impressive, which is exactly why she has since backtracked during an interview with Ariana Grande for Entertainment Weekly’s 2022 Entertainers of the Year.
However, American Pie fans will remember that there is a simple equation to run on an individual’s claimed body count that could mean Coolidge’s escapades are even more impressive than she previously claimed — the Rule of Three states that you take a man’s supposed count and divide it by three to get the real number, and for women you take the number they admit to and multiply it by three. If the math is to be trusted, that would place Coolidge at around the 600 mark, making her the Wilt Chamberlain of women in comedy and an all-time great ass-getter.
That said, as Coolidge claimed to Grande, the 200 number may have been inflated when she told EW about her post-American Pie sexual awakening back in August. “I would love to say that was true, but I mean, that was sort of an exaggeration,” she explained. Though, again, if the American Pie arithmetic is to be believed, Coolidge may actually have been too modest. Coolidge did admit of her newfound sex symbol status post-American Pie, “It did sort of open up the world to a much broader group of handsome men — and younger men.”
When asked by Grande about the “best d— she ever got” as a result of her performance as Stifler’s Mom, Coolidge recalled fondly, “This one guy was particularly young — legal, of course, it was all very legal,” before explaining an unusual moment when the age gap between Coolidge and her choice in men proved unexpectedly useful. “The next morning, I told him I needed to get a blow dry. So he was so young, we called his mother to see where I could get a blow dry. She gave me a good recommendation at a local mall, so it all worked out.”
Even though it’s been almost a quarter of a century since Coolidge made her cougar debut in American Pie, her public persona has only grown more alluring as a result of her celebrated performance as the airheaded heiress Tanya McQuoid in Mike White’s The White Lotus. To give some light spoilers, McQuoid, much like the actress who plays her, has a weakness for younger men, and the sexual nature of the role could very well spark a renaissance for the beloved bachelorette in her ass-getting adventures.
Happy hunting, Jennifer.