The New Drug Ozempic Seemingly Turns Your Dreams into an Episode of ‘South Park’

Back in the 1990s, it was common practice to consume mind-altering drugs while watching South Park on TV. But in 2023, people use drugs to watch South Park in their heads.

Today, the diabetes-turned-diet medication Ozempic is the most fashionable pharmaceutical in America as celebrities from Martin Short to Andy Cohen to Chelsea Handler have admitted to using the non-insulin diabetes drug for long-term weight management. However, one side effect of the medication (besides looking like a corpse that does CrossFit) has made headlines for its absurdity — numerous Ozempic users have reported that they experience vivid, bizarre, celebrity-themed dreams while on the A-list’s new favorite non-snortable drug.

A recent Wall Street Journal article, “‘I Hate You, Kathie Lee Gifford!’ Ozempic Users Report Bizarre Dreams,” details this exact phenomenon. If that title sounds like someone in a diet drug-fueled delirium half-remembered the plotline of a Season One South Park episode, then you do not abuse Ozempic.

In the 1997 South Park episode “Weight Gain 4000,” Cartman submits a plagiarized essay for a national contest and wins, prompting a visit from television presenter Kathie Lee Gifford to the Colorado town. Cartman begins taking a fictional muscle-building drug in order to look buff for the cameras when he and Gifford make their much-publicized appearance together, while Mr. Garrison plans to assassinate Gifford out of revenge for upstaging him during a national talent show in his youth. Both plans fail as Cartman balloons up to a massive weight that causes the stage to collapse with him and Gifford on it, throwing Regis Philbin’s sidekick to safety from Garrison’s sniper shot. Kenny gets hit instead.

In 2023, a woman taking Ozempic dreamed that she was on a trip with Gifford to Yellowstone National Park where a dispute between them over a tent setup made her scream her hatred for the Emmy-winner, shortly before she awoke. While not explicitly murderous, this dream, coupled with the diet-pill coincidence, makes us think that Gifford really should travel in a bullet-proof bubble like her South Park likeness. 

If Howard Stern suddenly starts losing weight, God help her.