The New Drug Ozempic Seemingly Turns Your Dreams into an Episode of ‘South Park’

The New Drug Ozempic Seemingly Turns Your Dreams into an Episode of ‘South Park’

Back in the 1990s, it was common practice to consume mind-altering drugs while watching South Park on TV. But in 2023, people use drugs to watch South Park in their heads.

Today, the diabetes-turned-diet medication Ozempic is the most fashionable pharmaceutical in America as celebrities from Martin Short to Andy Cohen to Chelsea Handler have admitted to using the non-insulin diabetes drug for long-term weight management. However, one side effect of the medication (besides looking like a corpse that does CrossFit) has made headlines for its absurdity — numerous Ozempic users have reported that they experience vivid, bizarre, celebrity-themed dreams while on the A-list’s new favorite non-snortable drug.

A recent Wall Street Journal article, “‘I Hate You, Kathie Lee Gifford!’ Ozempic Users Report Bizarre Dreams,” details this exact phenomenon. If that title sounds like someone in a diet drug-fueled delirium half-remembered the plotline of a Season One South Park episode, then you do not abuse Ozempic.

In the 1997 South Park episode “Weight Gain 4000,” Cartman submits a plagiarized essay for a national contest and wins, prompting a visit from television presenter Kathie Lee Gifford to the Colorado town. Cartman begins taking a fictional muscle-building drug in order to look buff for the cameras when he and Gifford make their much-publicized appearance together, while Mr. Garrison plans to assassinate Gifford out of revenge for upstaging him during a national talent show in his youth. Both plans fail as Cartman balloons up to a massive weight that causes the stage to collapse with him and Gifford on it, throwing Regis Philbin’s sidekick to safety from Garrison’s sniper shot. Kenny gets hit instead.

In 2023, a woman taking Ozempic dreamed that she was on a trip with Gifford to Yellowstone National Park where a dispute between them over a tent setup made her scream her hatred for the Emmy-winner, shortly before she awoke. While not explicitly murderous, this dream, coupled with the diet-pill coincidence, makes us think that Gifford really should travel in a bullet-proof bubble like her South Park likeness. 

If Howard Stern suddenly starts losing weight, God help her.

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