‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Deleted Scenes That Actually Deserved to Be Seen

The best stuff we could find by rifling through the Gang’s trash
‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Deleted Scenes That Actually Deserved to Be Seen

The proverb one mans garbage is another mans treasure also applies to sitcoms. Case in point: The deleted stuff in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia contains (literally) throwaway jokes that are orders of magnitude funnier than the stuff that makes it on the air in certain other sitcoms. To demonstrate that, here are the best unaired moments we could find while rifling through Always Sunnys deleted scenes, bloopers, DVD extras and junk like that... 

Charlie Explains Why He Has Burner Phones

In this extended scene from Mac and Charlie: White Trash, we find out that Charlie (Charlie Day) spells Waitress as Wicksocks because thats how he has his beloveds number stored in his current burner phone. Yes, its astonishing that he got the W and final s right. Why does Charlie have burner phones? Because the Waitress keeps changing her number due to his relentless harassment, and he believes buying a new phone is the only way he can call her. We got that dance going on, he explains, adding that theres a certain dignity to it. It meaning "stalking. (No, Charlie, there isnt.)

Dees Rousing Opening Statement

This ones from Reynolds vs. Reynolds: The Cereal Defense and explains Sweet Dees (Kaitlin Olson) rationale for representing Dennis (Glenn Howerton) in the mock trial they hold at the bar: If theres anything that I hate more than this wretched prick, more than this miscarriage of a man, its a miscarriage... of justice. Even Charlie, the opposing counsel, is impressed. Its just typical that the only time Dee gets any recognition from the Gang should end up on the cutting room floor.

The Tempted Truckers Monologue


Most of Tom "Val Kilmer's Nemesis" Sizemores performance as a trucker who is tempted by Dennis and Charlies dapper good looks in The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods made it into the finished episode, except for his wistful reflection about what it's like to be an aging truck stop sex worker: Save your love, guys. You're just a hole to them, and then sooner or later, your looks begin to... (looks into the distance) They begin to fade. And then where are ya? Aint nothing glamorous about a tore up, burnt out, speed-freak 43-year-old suck queen, is there? Unironically the best showcase for his talent in decades.

Charlies Cat Food Intervention


Dennis perfectly logical explanation for why Charlie should stop eating cat food apparently couldnt make it into Mac and Dennis Break Up because Mac (Rob McElhenney) was physically incapable of getting through the scene without laughing. Bonus: Macs sweaty hog that won't quit remark was presumably replaced with bird that won't quit in Americas Next Top Paddys Billboard Model Contest" because otherwise, theystill be trying to shoot this scene.

Charlies Festive Butt Offer


Another line that didnt make it into an episode because it was too hilarious for its own good: Butts filled like a Christmas stocking, from the time Charlie and Mac were trying to convince Macs dad they were capable of smuggling prison contraband for him in Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad. This shows editors deserve a hundred Emmys for hiding all the times Mac cracks up.

Dennis and Dees Extended Podcasts


Howerton and Olson recorded a few four-minute podcasts about topics like serial killers and terrorism for Macs Big Break, but the standout is the one about the border patrol, in which we find out Dennis doesnt know how to say no in Spanish. Then again, this is Dennis; he has trouble understanding the concept of no in any language. Reminder that this episode is from 2010, which makes Dennis and Dee trailblazers in the ignorant assholes doing inane podcasts industry.

Uncle Jacks Public Access Show


Legal Advice with Jack Kelly, a Season Six DVD extra, is a great display of how profoundly weird this character is, even if you leave aside all the stuff about his sexual obsession with his nephew Charlie (which you shouldnt, especially if youre in the FBI). The various mid-Animorph images of himself he shows his confused callers are a little horrifying, but thats probably not the worst kind of photo this guy could show you. Such are the risks of turning on public-access TV at 2:55 a.m.

Danny DeVitos Contract Clause


Another DVD extra showing the moment Charlie Day found out exactly how they convinced Batman Returns star Danny DeVito to appear in their little show: via the promise of being blown. And now its time to pay up. This clip is also noteworthy for the appearance of DeVitos then-wife Rhea Perlman (making this a little Matilda reunion) and another 1980s celebrity you wouldnt guess in a million years (unless youre aware of the fact that hedirected several Always Sunny episodes).

Charlies Alternate Go F Yourselves Songs


One of the shows most memorable musical moments is Charlies spray paint-fueled song from The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award, which starts out being about a spider living in his soul and then violently swerves into telling those in attendance to go #$%@ themselves, punctuated by spit. Turns out Day improvised like an albums worth of equally nonsensical songs, but they had to go with only one since they couldnt just make the entire episode about Charlie singing about oyster parties and such (for some reason). Youve officially made it as an artist when a baffled Danny DeVito is standing on the side of your performance, intently recording you on his phone.

Follow Maxwell Yezpitelok's heroic effort to read and comment on every '90s Superman comic at Superman86to99.tumblr.com. 

Thumbnail: Disney-ABC Domestic Television  


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