The steps are simple — take a Heathcliff comic, load up a Pornhub video, grab a random comment, combine and tweet. That has been the winning formula for the Twitter page Hourly Pornhubbed Heathcliff, an automated account that has been doing exactly this every hour on the hour since January and accrued a respectable five-digit following over the 7,000+ posts that have ruined our second favorite orange cartoon cat forever.

The account, which boasts the dubious claim of “Condoned by (current Heathcliff writer) Peter Gallagher” on its Mastodon page, has been mining the comedy potential that communities like the subreddit /r/PornhubComments have known to lie in the comments section of every dirty video for years. Hourly Pornhubbed Heathcliff provides its own spin on the subject as it procedurally generates some of the most delectably postmodern porn-focused comedy content on Twitter.

The Heathcliff comic strip was created in 1973 by George Gately. It has been adapted into an animated television series, a feature-length film and a handful of children's video games before Twitter bot maker @quasirealSmiths took the colorful cartoon cat down the darkest path of his nine lives.

There is another account, Top Pornhub Heathcliffs of the Week, that does a weekly awards ceremony where @quasirealSmiths reposts the five most liked and shared Pornhub Heathcliffs of the previous week. @quasirealSmiths also apparently accepts audience submissions, with some posts showing accreditation for the Twitter user responsible for submitting the Pornhub comment.

Hourly Pornhub Heathcliff captures the bizarre world of the Pornhub comments section in the most SFW format possible for these disgusting, shameless, touchingly sincere and shockingly insightful thoughts that internet masturbators felt fit only to share amongst themselves. Every now and then an Hourly Pornhub Heathcliff post will read like a devastatingly introspective poem that feels more fitting to fix underneath the shenanigans of a cartoon cat than whatever depravity it had previously underpinned. Hourly Pornhub Heathcliff is an automated reclamation project for some of the most hilarious and poignant thoughts that adorn the bowels of the internet. Just like porn itself, more and more Pornhub Heathcliff is being made every hour, only to stop at the end of all porn.

In other words, it's going to be a while.

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