If you don’t want any spoilers, do like Gandalf says and don’t pass this point. If you, like me, have major problems with The Rings of Power and want to scream about it, read on fellow hero. The biggest problem with the series isn’t that they made the Dwarves silly rock pounders, it’s not that the green screen looks flat and lifeless, it isn’t even that Galadriel decided to jump off a boat and swim through the WHOLE DAMN OCEAN. The biggest problem is with the proto Hobbits, the Harfoots, and how freakishly dirty they are.

Amazon

Wash your face my guy, you have a family.

Nomadic cultures are present in every populated continent, for centuries they’ve been lifelines of trade and cultural exchange. But you know what they’re not? They’re not grubby as hell. There’s a harmful stereotype of “dirty travelers”, often centered around nomadic Romani peoples. And the filthy hands and faces of the Harfoots play right into it. In the whole of the animal kingdom, grooming is paramount. Only animals which are very, very sick get that dirty. Staying clean and well-groomed is something squirrels do, birds do, and migratory societies the world over know is crucial to survival. They have access to running water, they have plenty of time to groom themselves. Even if they’re trying to camouflage, they don’t need to have dirt-caked hands and faces. They forage for food for chrissake. Wash your damn cuticles before picking those berries. Their clothes are filthy and tattered, again, a stereotype about nomadic cultures and again untrue. If you have only the possessions you travel with, you take damn good care of them. 

Amazon

No elevensies, just grime and murder by abandonment.

These pint sized assholes pissed me off the moment I saw them. The Harfoots are the ancestors of Frodo and co., the tiny heroes of LotR and a notoriously tidy bunch. Also unlike Hobbits, the Harfoots have a brutally cruel society where they say they love each other but leave anyone sick or injured behind to waste away and die. They also laughed really hard when they remembered someone they all knew who had died from bee stings. That’s a level of twisted cruelty that even Morgoth himself would balk at. Rant over. Enjoy your little fantasy show, I’m gonna go watch the other one where the princess smooches her hot uncle.

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