The 15 Worst Sports Fandoms, Power Ranked For Terribleness

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The 15 Worst Sports Fandoms, Power Ranked For Terribleness

Pro sports wouldn't exist without its fans. The whole reason these silly children's games have the power to “galvanize cities” or predict Presidential elections is because of fans. Bummer though: sports fans are assholes. They'll yell all of George Carlin's seven words without even realizing they're talking about themselves. Today we celebrate (?) those most insufferable jerks who are considered adults in age only. Don't worry, if you don't see your team on this list, rest assured it was cut for space or author bias. Your team deserves to be on this list.

One last caveat: no college sports. The answer to the worst college sports fandom is “all of them.”

WNBA Haters Are So Tired At This Point

Courtney Vandersloot

Wikimedia Commons: Lorie Schaull

If you like basketball, you like the WNBA. Sure, there are fewer dunks. But the offenses are beautiful and intricate, with pass-and-cut sets that bend spectators' brains as much as defenses. The players are skilled on the court and unapologetically cool off the court. How many sports leagues can say they overthrew a sitting Senator? The league is getting more media attention as late, with personalities like Tom Ziller and the Spinsters podcast covering the women's game with the same regularity as the NBA. So everyone tweeting “back in the kitchen” jokes can take their retrograde sexism back to a time before Bill Simmons had women coworkers. The WNBA is here to stay. 

New Orleans Pelicans

Pierre the Pelican

Wikimedia Commons: PierreTPelican

New Orleans is a wonderful, walkable city with endless culture and nightlife. While the Pelicans' tenure in New Orleans hasn't been marked by deep playoff runs, they've had some interesting teams, from the Chris Paul years on through the Anthony Davis/DeMarcus Cousins experiment. Tickets to Pelicans games are pretty cheap, and the Smoothie King arena sells alligator po boys and giant frozen Hurricanes. So why is attendance consistently among the lowest in the NBA? Go see a basketball game, New Orleans!

Tie: New York Knicks/Los Angeles Lakers

Two smart, passionate fanbases only here because of their entitlement. Any time the Knicks or Lakers finish November above .500 every talking head drones on about how “the league is better when the Knicks/Lakers are good.” Hogwash. The Lakers sucked in the 90s and the Knicks have sucked the entire 21st century. The league has been in great shape that entire time, with possible exception of 1999-2004, post-Michael Jordan malaise years coincidentally marked by a Knicks Finals appearance and Lakers three-peat. 

Pittsburgh Steelers

Terrible Towel

Wikimedia Commons: SteelCityHobbies

Y'all are trying to make a towel menacing. A towel. The thing children wear to play superhero. A towel. 

Atlanta Braves

Apologies to the entire United States southeast, whom the Braves have a strangehold on thanks to some rad 90s teams Ted Turner's cable television prowess. But the tomahawk chop is unconscionable. It should've been stopped years ago. Braves fans buckle down, though. Even after the summer of 2020, aka the summer when white people ran out of excuses. 

New York Yankees

Derek Jeter fan

Wikimedia Commons: Keith Allison

Slightly unfair because Yankees fans are generally knowledgeable about both baseball and their team's rich history. The problem is cheering for unabashed, unrestrained capitalism. To root for the Yankees is to root for the very forces that are fragmenting our world into haves and have-nots. No amount of folksy Yogi Berra quotes or inspirational Lou Gehrig speeches changes the fact that you're rooting for the boot you're licking to taste worse. The only way for the Yankees to get off this list is to broker a peace treaty between Desus and Mero. 

Miami Heat

American Airlines Arena

Wikimedia Commons: Rob Olivera

We'd get an image of game action, but no one was inside to take the photo

Leaving a winnable NBA Finals game before the buzzer sounds gets you on this list, sorry. Especially if one of the greatest moments in Finals history happened after you were trying to beat the traffic back to sip Red Bull vodkas with other fame-thirsty lackeys at Bongo's. 

Philadelphia Phillies

Phillie Phanatic

Wikimedia Commons: Mobilus in Mobili

Philadelphia mascot Phillie Phanatic, seen here devouring a fan

Intentionally puking on an 11-year-old girls gets your on this list, sorry. Seriously, what the actual hell, Philly? Oh wait, those jagoffs were from New Jersey. 

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