Portlandia may have been on for 8 seasons, but it still feels like it was taken from us too soon. Don’t you feel as though the characters of Portland have more stories to tell? Here are 15 characters from the series that deserve spinoffs, if Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein ever answer our prayers.

Fred and Carrie

Fred and Carrie Portlandia

IFC

Fred and Carrie played fictionalized versions of themselves on the show, with their relationship largely resembling that of Bert and Ernie (if Bert attempted to get Ernie pregnant). The spinoff is easy, Fred and Carrie had several episodes dedicated solely to their relationship, and I know I’d sit down to watch them sleeping in their matching twin beds night after night if they spun-off.

Milton

Fred and Carrie's landlord, Milton, played by Steve Buscemi, was a revelation. Milton is a well-meaning landlord who constantly crosses the line in terms of privacy. My pitch for his spinoff is Milton navigating the real estate scene in Portland. With landlords being such a touchy subject right now too, there’s plenty to play off of. 

Peter and Nance

Peter and Nance Portlandia

IFC

Peter and Nance were our first introduction to what Portlandia is with the pilot episode largely focusing around the two joining a cult. Peter and Nance are so madly in love I could see a spinoff where the two run a couples counseling program, or they could continue to run their bed and breakfast. 

Nina and Lance

Nina and Lance Portlandia

IFC

Nina and Lance are no doubt crowd favorites. Nina’s high pitched voice and Lance’s low tones mix to create the perfect ditzy couple. Several storylines have already happened between the couple including a proposal and a plan to impregnate Nina. The spinoff is a simple single camera sitcom following Nina and Lance’s motorcycle repair shop with their baby. I’m just spitballing here guys, they can really do anything.

Candace Devereaux and Toni Rose

Toni and Candace Portlandia

IFC

Toni and Candace blew audiences away when Portlandia first aired, becoming an instant favorite among fans. The two have already had a spinoff of sorts with the episode “The Story of Toni & Candace,” but their relationship is so strong and long lasting, that an entire spinoff would have enough material for several seasons.  

Spyke and Iris

Spyke and Iris Portlandia

IFC

Spyke and Iris are the original hipster-punk couple. Spyke’s first scene is actually saying things are “over” because a yuppie keeps copying him. Spyke loves to stick it to the man, the spinoff could follow Spyke running for local office perhaps. Then eventually ending up with him becoming president in the final season. Another rags to president story.

Bryce Shivers and Lisa Eversman

Bryce and Lisa

IFC

Ok, so there's not that many deep dives on entrepreneurs Bryce Shivers and Lisa Eversman, but hear me out. We could follow them on their entrepreneurial journey in a spin off situation.  They could collaborate with Shark Tank and QVC. Who wouldn't want to invest in “put a bird on it” or “we can pickle that?”

Mr. Mayor and Sam

Mr. Mayor Portlandia

IFC

Kyle MacLachlan as Mr. Mayor is one of the funniest characters of the original series, and he’s not even played by Fred Armisen. A spinoff show about the mayor of Portland with his trusty sidekick Sam (played by the actual former mayor of Portland, Sam Adams), could show us the trials and tribulations of a Portland Mayor on a larger scale. If you can get any larger than accidentally committing a terrorist attack on your own city with fireworks.

The Eco-Terrorists

IFC

The Eco-terrorists consisted of many members including Olivia Wilde and Abbi Jacobson from Broad City at one point. Their mission is simple, protest the dumbest causes they possibly can, in the least effective ways possible. The show writes itself! With a world full of protest and self proclaimed social justice warriors, there is plenty left to still to pry out of this comedy mine.

Kris and Malcolm

Kris and Malcolm Portlandia

IFC

Kris and Malcolm are the well educated older couple of Portlandia. They represent your parents at a James Taylor concert. They’re your elderly professors trying their best to stay in touch with their students. Give them a show where they move to an RV Park, I think mixing with the locals and putting them in an unfamiliar environment would build the best story (I will be suing if this idea comes to fruition).

Vince and Jacqueline

Vince and Jaqueline Portlandia

IFC

The town weirdos, Vince and Jaqueline, are begging for a spinoff. Every episode that these two pop into is a favorite of mine, solely because they stick out like such sore thumbs. Their attitudes and manners are commendable, but it’s all wrapped up in a terrifying package. Let’s make their spinoff more of the mundane being shaken up by their presence. Maybe they run a pawn shop of curated curiosities?

Ebbe, Christine And Their Nephew Andy

Portlandia vape store

IFC

Ebbe Roe Smith and Kristine Levine make several appearances in the series and always steal the show as a free-love bordering on sex-crazed older couple. The episode “Family Emergency” introduces their nephew Andy, played by Portland comic Andrew Dhulst, as their vape store business partner. I could watch this trio do anything, and they are probably the best bet for an Armisen-free reboot, considering how unique and fun they are to watch.

Mr. Bacon

Mr. Bacon Portlandia

IFC

Mr. Bacon appears in 2 episodes of Portlandia as an evil mastermind, who also happens to represent the food bacon. Mr. Bacon is very different than all the other Armisen characters with a throaty voice and disgusted facial expression. As we learned from the fourth of July episode, Mr. Bacon’s pockets are very deep and he’s big on the dark web. Please, IFC, bring back the Baconator.

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