Movies and TV shows often feature special guest stars, either because their casts are sick to death of working with only each other day after day or because those in charge want audiences to watch their inferior product even if it means dangling the live bait that is a somewhat recognizable celebrity. But of course, because time is a fickle beast, and celebrities sometimes turn out to be total garbage people, some guest roles of yesteryear don’t quite play the same today as they did back then, such as …

More regrettably, before he was accused of, and admitted to, multiple instances of sexual misconduct and harassment, Louis CK had a recurring role as a loveable police officer – so really just a perfect storm of things that don’t look so great in hindsight. Worse still, in the episode in which Dave the cop returns to see Leslie, his ex-girlfriend, he confesses that he’s still in love with her – then he ignores her repeated requests to back off.

O.J. Simpson Visited Disney’s Wonderland

While Lewis Carroll’s original Alice in Wonderland featured a glaring lack of desktop computers, hip-hop numbers, and rollerblading bunny rabbits, the classic story was updated for ‘90s audiences with the Disney Channel show Adventures in Wonderland

The series featured a truly unhinged roster of guest stars ranging from Willie Nelson to Pat Sajak to Ed McMahon – so basically, all the stars ‘90s kids adored. Adventures in Wonderland also subjected daytime cable TV viewers to Gilbert Gottfried as a singing, dancing cowboy named “Mike McNasty.”

But the most retroactively horrifying cameo, hands down, belongs to accused (and acquitted) killer O.J. Simpson. Although it was abruptly pulled from the air following his arrest, Simpson’s Wonderland episode, “White Rabbits Can’t Jump” (the youth love Woody Harrelson references) was still adapted into a children’s book. And at the risk of judging a book by its cover, the White Rabbit totally thinks he did it.

Disney

The plot involves the White Bronco – sorry, Rabbit, turning to a poster of his hero, O.J. Simpson for help with a sporting event. Because according to the book: “Whenever he was worried or upset, the White Rabbit would use his imagination to think about what O.J. would do in the same situation.” Which seems like … not the best plan of action. At which point, the rabbit magically conjures his athletic hero O.J. to help him with a sporting event. Again, this was before the concept of O.J. Simpson randomly showing up, uninvited inside your home was the stuff of horror.

Disney

At least it’s not the worst Simpson has ever been involved with.

Touched By An Angel – Angel Bill Cosby Lectures Someone For Their Life Decisions

Back in whatever the opposite of the “golden age of TV” is, we got programs like Touched By An Angel, all about how God helps lost Christian souls using a fleet of angels who travel the world in a red Cadillac – just like in the Bible, we assume. So if you ever needed help in life and your prayers weren’t answered by a couple of strangers in a classic car, it’s not God’s fault; it’s probably just because you were being judged by the Almighty for that thing you did that one time. You know what we’re talking about.

Touched By An Angel regularly featured special guests, typically celebrities that were a good fit for a show that mostly functioned as a sedative for senior citizens; stars like Angela Lansbury, Celine Dion, and Mandy Patinkin as … The Devil? Really? On second thought, a dude in a beige suit who won’t stop singing may actually be the best onscreen representation of Satan yet.

To play Phil, the “Angel of Reconciliation” the show brought in … Bill Cosby. Seeing legit real-life monster Cosby as an instrument of divine intervention is troubling in and of itself, but his first appearance required him to talk some sense into a young man who’s upset his dead father didn’t leave him any money – and in retrospect, maybe sending random strangers to harass people on the side of the road isn’t the most effective plan, God.

Looking at it now, it’s inconceivable that Bill Cosby would be offering advice to anyone. That would be like accepting life lessons from … well, Bill Cosby. Sorry, we can’t think of a bigger piece of crap than Bill Cosby off the top of our heads. He should really be down there with Mandy Patinkin, if you know what we mean.

Barbie Went To Hollywood And Met … Harvey Weinstein?

While we’re still waiting for the upcoming live-action Barbie movie from Greta Gerwig, the Academy Award-nominated director of Little Women (Barbie, of course, being the littlest of all women) there have been a number of straight-to-video Barbie movies over the years, including Barbie in A Christmas Carol, starring Barbie, Ken, and the silent screams of the ghost of Charles Dickens

Then there was the time Barbie visited Los Angeles in 2005’s My Scene Goes Hollywood. The plot involves one of Barbie’s friends getting a job in a new teen spy movie; and when Barbie visits the set, the second-worst thing that could happen to Barbie in Hollywood (the first being melting into a puddle of liquid plastic) happens: she runs into Harvey Weinstein.

First of all, why does Weinstein look nothing like Harvey Weinstein? Does this movie take place inside Weinstein’s brain, Inception-style? He looks like a young Tom Arnold if he joined the Men in Black. No, actually he looks like Dennis Nedry’s highly misleading Jurassic Park action figure

Obviously, it’s more than a little disconcerting to see convicted rapist and all-around human genital wart Harvey Weinstein appearing in a piece of children’s entertainment, voiced by Weinstein himself. Not to mention that the scene literally involves him creepily hovering around, and praising, a young actress. 

But even for the time, it seems like a uniquely baffling creative decision. Sure, Lindsay Logan also has a cameo; but which Mattel executive was like “Hey, you know what kids want to see? An improbably slick cartoon version of the guy who produced The English Patient. ”

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Top Image: Disney/NBC

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