On today's episode of insurgents facing the consequences of their own choices, it seems yet another rioter, a New York City-based pickup artist, allegedly involved in the attack on our nation's Capitol earlier this month has finally been arrested,  joining the ranks of fellow yahoos including the QAnon Shaman, the lectern-stealing mutineer formerly known as "Via Getty," and of course, the woman who took Burn After Reading a little too literally. Prior to his incarceration on Wednesday morning on charges including unlawful entry and disorderly conduct on restricted grounds, Samuel Fisher of the Upper East Side lived a double life fit for a Breitbart-produced Hannah Montana reboot, spewing conspiracy theory nonsense and offering terrible dating advice under the secret alias of Brad Holiday, Gothamist reported. Of course, like several of the dingbats arrested before him, he decided to brag about his time attending the violent siege on social media. 

"It was awesome. It was dangerous and violent," the 35-year-old wrote on Facebook of his time at the Capitol, The Daily Beast reported. "People died...but it was fucking great if you ask me….i got tear-gassed and pepper-sprayed." Yet he even before he attended the "fucking great" siege that killed five people, he hyped up the event, explaining his plan of bringing weapons to D.C. and "bring the pain upon" 45's political foes, according to the outlet. Really guys? How many times do I have to go over this? Don't break the law, but if you're going to, maybe oh, I don't know, avoid plastering your plans and a full-on review of your illegal activities all over social media? 

Yet it seems his dating tactics aren't much better than his strange approach to allegedly committing crimes. The founder of a company called LuxLife dating, Fisher touted his ability to help his clients get "high value girls" with the help of his "predictable pickup system." So what, exactly, is in his coveted methodology, you ask? According to several videos on his YouTube channel, Fisher's approach to girls consists of "red pill advice," encouraging mild catfishing via FaceApp, pushing his followers to avoid living with a woman, and advising viewers to refrain from effectively communicating with their partners. Now, reader, I am not claiming to be a Casanova, but as a real live woman who has dealt with creepy wannabe suitors that attempted several similar tactics, I can tell you firsthand that following the above tips will get you blocked, dumped, or left on read every time. 

Readers if you're looking for dating advice that will lead to a fun and healthy relationship, a strong connection, and hey, even great sex, maybe don't listen to a dude who once uploaded a video entitled "CHICKS BE TRIPPIN'."

 

 

So remember, don't partake in sieges against the United States government and don't take dating advice from questionable men online. Reading 'The Game' does not a romancer make. Ya'll can do better. 

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ and on Twitter @TennesAnyone

Top Image: Shutterstock/YouTube

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