Disneyland; it's been called the "Happiest Place on Earth" by those who have never had to dress-up in an oversized rodent costume and dodge groin punches from bratty children in the sweltering heat. Now the spacious theme park resort is actually going to aid humanity in a substantive way, possibly to make-up for Captain EO. Yes, the currently shuttered Disneyland is set to become an expansive vaccine distribution hub or "super site" that would allow thousands of people to receive covid vaccinations each day. 

It should be noted that it seems as though the vaccinations will be administered in tents set-up in one of the resort's parking lots -- it's not as if you'll get your shot while riding Splash Mountain or piloting the Millenium Falcon. Disneyland is an ideal location, not just due to space, but because, like hospitals, they have "an ultra-cold freezer" to store the vaccine, presumably next to Walt Disney's icy corpse. 

It is an amusing turn of events, considering the amount of bad press Disney has received during this pandemic, from furloughing employees while rewarding corporate executives to digitally adding masks to photos of unmasked Disney World guests. Adding to the sense that we're all living inside of a high school creative writing project, it was just six years ago this month that this future vaccine hub was home to a measles outbreak that spread throughout the country and served to help illuminate America's raging anti-vaxxer problem. And it's been about a year and a half since there was yet another measles incident at the park. The measles vaccine, incidentally, was created in 1963 -- back when Walt Disney was still alive and not hidden in a frozen chamber below the Pirates of the Caribbean ride along with the vaccine that will hopefully end this goddamn pandemic. If they could somehow teach animatronic presidents to use syringes, that would sure speed things up.

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Top Image: Dassel/Pixabay

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