Weird Stuff Hackers Found Inside Video Game Code

Weird Stuff Hackers Found Inside Video Game Code

The hunger for uncovering secrets in video games has gotten so strong that gamers are no longer satisfied with surface-level Easter eggs the devs might throw at them. They want everything, so they peer deep into the code of these games to find videos never meant to be seen, weirdly creepy code that has no place being there, and, sometimes, nude female character models (Okay, most of the time) ...

Fortnite's Developers' Boobalicious Lie

Despite being a game where dozens of people fight until there's only one left dancing atop a pile corpses, Fortnite is somehow regarded as a kid-friendly game. But, a 2018 update made a few fans question that when it introduced Calamity, a Cowgirl character whose model featured some surprisingly realistic boob physics.

Some fans were quick to point out the strangeness of one female character being portrayed with such "realism" on the breast department, while others probably wanted the devs to make sure other female models got upgraded  -- for equality, we're sure. It didn't pan out, and the jiggly boob physics were quickly patched out. Epic games tried to shrug off the whole debacle as an embarrassing and "unintended" mistake, and while it's nice of a big company to not blame it on a single employee who "went rogue out of nowhere" for once, "unintended" seems like a stretch.

Making something that looks great in a game is not an easy task. So If a pair of boobs jiggle realistically in a game, that's because either a person, or a bunch of 'em worked hard (or at least semi-hard) to code them to move like that. To lay the non-mystery to rest, hackers data-mined the hell out of the pre-patched version of the game and found lines of code with names such as "Breast Physics", which developers probably typed in by accident. With their penises.

Epic Games
Pictured: proof that it's possible to code one-handed.

Red Dead Redemption 2 Fans Solve Its Greatest Mysteries

When not messing with its own developers with fun practical jokes like devastating overtime, Rockstar Games is famous for messing with players. In Red Dead Redemption 2 they teased everyone with the existence of a legendary catfish, sending us on an impossible quest to catch it until we were screaming, "-- from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee," at our TV. Is this another version of GTA: San Andreas' Bigfoot situation, where lots of players claimed for years to have seen the beast, but only had piss poor recordings to show as proof?

No, because unlike the San Andreas' Bigfake, hackers have confirmed that the elusive catfish is real ... but the only way to see it is to force it to spawn in the PC version.

Rockstar Games
And, as usual, with catfishing on computers, the long-awaited encounter ends with a grand disappointment.

Beyond the aquatic affronts to God, the PC version has possibly solved the biggest mystery in the game: Gavin. In the story, a man named "Nigel" appears randomly to ask players to help in the search for his friend, a man named Gavin. This interaction generates a quest, which very naturally leads players to believe Gavin can be found and returned to his friend. Moreover, if players go through most of the game without finding Gavin, they'll meet "Nigel" years later, completely torn by the despair of not being able to find his friend. 

No one's been able to find Gavin in the game, but hackers were able to find him inside the game. And it turns out that Gavin is none other than ... the guy who'd been asking for Gavin the entire time.

"Nigel's" character model is named "Gavin." This mixed with the bizarre behavior he displays throughout his story, and some odd parts of a letter he's carrying, have led players to believe that Nigel/Gavin is just a poor dude suffering from dissociative identity disorder. Which now makes us feel a little bad for shooting him in the dick after he screamed, "GAAAAVIIIIN!" in our ears for the 37th time. 

SpongeBob's Thirsty And Mr. Huggles Will Kill You And Your Parents

In the eyes of Internet memers, the cast of SpongeBob SquarePants is no less Internet royalty than America's royal family, the cast of Tiger King. Images such as Handsome Squidward have become a mainstay in the collective Netconscious. And if you think that's verging on too much, then you'll be glad no dank memer has gotten a hold of what we're about to throw at you, possible future memelord.

Back in the old days of the PS1, there was SpongeBob Super Sponge, a little game that came and went, much like the company behind it. 

After going under, the devs decided to release the source code to anyone interested in getting a dig at it. Revealing the mysteries of your code to everyone when you don't stand to gain anything from keeping it is a neat thing to do, but probably not as neat when your code features some kinky ass imagery, and yeah, this one totally does.

THQ, Via
SpongeBob SpikedCodpiece just doesn't have the same ring to it.

The devs didn't even make the digging all that hard, as they straight-up named all the risque images with a variation of "naughty." In addition to SpongeBobdage seen above, there's also a picture of SpongeBob exploring Patrick's starfish.

THQ, Via

And Patrick swiftly cheating on him by graphically clapping Sandy's cheeks.

THQ, Via
Feel they're getting a little loose with starfish anatomy here.

And strangely, there's more bonkers hidden content in another SpongeBob-related game. That's the case with Mr Huggles in Attack of the Toybots. The game features an inaccessible message that's too messed up to be an Easter egg, too weird not too share.

If you use a hack to unlock the game's camera and flip it upside down, you'll see that Mr Huggles' toy box says, "I'LL KILL YOUR PARENTS," and "YOU'LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN." Though, honestly, "no sleep" is a pretty hollow threat to make to a six-year-old kid all hopped up on sugary cereal.

We don't always buy the "Rogue programmer" line, but "I'll murder your family" seems like it MIGHT not have been Nickelodeon-approved.

Thirsty players dig into depths of FFXV to find weird nudes

In the real world, Shiva is one of Hinduism's main deities. In the Final Fantasy series, however, Shiva is rebranded as a hot spirit waifu players can summon to get help in their quest for cyber arousal ... and for defeating monsters too ... we guess. Final Fantasy at some point features Shiva as a gigantic statue that players can only see from a distance and at a specific angle.

Which we're sure devout Hindus everywhere just loved.

But players felt such a spiritual connection to the scantily clad deity that they started an out of bounds pilgrimage to find and worship her ... ass.

And yeah, they succeeded.

Behold the holy thong of an actual religion's actual deity.

Since the battle for thirst-quenching in fought on all fronts, hackers childishly started digging in the game's files for more sexy stuff instead of just Googling "Rule 34" like a goddamn adult. At first everything was going great, as they were able to discover the weirdly topless model of female character that never gets nude in the game.

"Just a little buried bonus for the dedicated fans!" -Square, probably

And they should have stopped there, but gamers wouldn't be gamers if they didn't always go too far. They ended up finding the model of Camelia, an elderly woman who's also never in any even remotely sexy scene but is very well modeled and completely naked inside the game files waiting for your creeper uncle that's banned from GameStop.

"Just a little buried bonus for the ALARMINGLY dedicated fans." -Square again, probably.

Half-Life 2 Featured Child Slaves

Half-Life 2 shows you the day-to-day lives of city17's inhabitants, a bunch of poor souls forced into curfew by a force of mysterious alien overlords called the Combine. Unfortunately the story rings a few bells, but here's hoping Half-Life 2's parallels with real-life stop there. Because, in the game, the curfew is followed by mass forced infertility that renders the world childless. It wasn't always like that though. It used to be even bleaker.

Hackers managed to look into old source code for the game, and found an entire area called the Combine Factories. This area is composed of unseen and ultra creepy facilities such as a crematorium, whose workforce is composed entirely of child slaves.

The children don't feature death animations, which comes as a relief until you notice that the combine would surely use the children's apparent immortality to create the first everlasting workforce.

Though they were to play only a background role in the game, the children models are chillingly realistic.

You'd think alarmingly detailed child slavery would be more of a DLC kinda thing.

There's even concept art featuring children working in a desolate facility, in case making it prettier will help you feeling better.

"Hey, with all that in mind, maybe sterilization doesn't seem so bad, right?" -Some President, soon.

Top image: Epic Games

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