Although hard figures are hard to come by, it's estimated by the FBI -- who take their horses very fucking seriously -- that anywhere between 50 and 100 horses were murdered by shady veterinarians, dodgy breeders, and professional killers like Tommy "The Sandman" Burns. This was a lovely character who over the course of a decade sent over 20 BoJacks to that great glue factory in the sky by, um, wiring a mains extension cord into their ass and switching on the power. "They go down immediately," Burns once described. "One horse dropped so fast in the stall, he must have broken his neck when he hit the floor. It's a sick thing, I know, but it was quick and it was painless. They didn't suffer."
What this method lacked in finesse, it made up by being completely undetectable to veterinarians. Burns soon became a niche celebrity on the equestrian circuit, to the point where people would approach him during shows and openly ask him to "take care" of a problem horse. That said, he never got rich off this gig. Despite the vast sums of money up for grabs, his typical take-home pay was $5,000 per job.
Burns' arrest in 1991 was the beginning of the end for this conspiracy, and over the next several years, 35 people -- ranging from owners to breeders to ass-assins -- were convicted of crimes including insurance fraud, obstruction of justice, extortion, and racketeering. It proves that murder-for-hire doesn't provide a stable income, the police don't horse around, and crime doesn't nei[EDIT: THE REST OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CANCELLED.]