6 Cool Yet Crazy Expensive Versions Of Toys You Had As A Kid
Unless you're some kind of claymation villain from a TV Christmas special, you probably loved toys at one time in your life. Well, some of us never grew out of our passion for unnecessary hunks of colored plastic, and toy companies have totally figured this out. Unless kids start charging 50 bucks for a Dixie Cup of lemonade, some toys are totally meant for adults with disposable incomes. And while they might cost an arm and a leg (and possibly several other appendages), some of these toys are really damn cool. So if you're rich and want to send gifts to random internet writers, feel free to start with ...
Skeletor's Snake Mountain Playset Will Set You Back $600
In the '80s, Masters Of The Universe toys were to children what cocaine was to, well, everyone else. There was He-Man himself, Skeletor, and He-Man's trusty steed, Battle Cat (who was literally created to reuse a crappy old toy). Hell, kids even wanted to play with Stinkor, the evil skunk man who smelled like your ex-roommate's unemployed boyfriend. Perhaps the most prized piece of He-Man merch, though, was Skeletor's Snake Mountain, a set so cool that Christian fundamentalists went on TV and claimed it was the work of the Devil himself. What an endorsement!
Well, for those who lost theirs decades ago, or who never had one in the first place because their parents clearly hated them, now you can get a Masters Of The Universe Collector's Choice Snake Mountain Playset. It's 36 inches high and will cost you $600. Which is a lot. You could probably hire Dolph Lundgren to come to your birthday party dressed as He-Man for $600. And by the way, this is only for the set. Action figures and small children to justify your purchase aren't included.
Sadly, the original toy's microphone that distorts your voice (and if '80s TV is to be believed, recruits you as one of Satan's minions) isn't part of the new set. But the level of detail is far greater than the '80s version, and it could be all yours if you simply decide not to pay rent for one month.
The $800 Lego Millennium Falcon
Unless you're an adult human's bare foot, you probably love Legos. The classic Danish toy has come a long way from those simple building sets where you had to use your dumb imagination. Now you can recreate some of your favorite pop culture scenes in tiny block form. One of the most popular properties to get the Lego treatment is of course Star Wars. And because a lot of people buying Star Wars toys are fully grown (occasionally rage-filled) adults, Lego has started catering to them with an "Ultimate Collector Series." So far the biggest (and most expensive) set is a 7,541-piece Millennium Falcon that costs $800. Or if you're a true fan, you can try to win one in a back-alley card game.
The set is very impressive, featuring all the nooks and crannies of the ship, from the claustrophobia-inducing cockpit ...
... to the inner corridors, where makeout sessions are constantly ruined by irksome robots:
The set even includes a Mynock, one of those bat-like creatures that enjoys chewing on power cables. Plus you get both old and young Han Solo minifigures, allowing adult Lego fans to metaphorically spit in the face of the ravaging effects of time.
A Disturbingly Realistic Marty, Doc, And DeLorean For Over A Grand
If you love Back To The Future, you've probably always dreamt of going for a ride in the DeLorean time machine with Marty McFly and Doc Brown. And since kidnapping Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd in a vintage automobile is a felony, thankfully there's a toy that can satiate that urge.
You may have heard of Hot Toys, the company that makes insanely realistic action figures. Like, "you wonder if someone's soul is trapped inside" realistic. They also make toy vehicles, and in 2014 released a DeLorean time machine that's 1/6th the size of the real thing. Aaaand it cost $689.99, which is a lot of dough, unless you somehow smuggled a sports almanac from the future.
Of course the car has its own Flux Capacitor:
And it even contains the time circuits, and the alarm clock Marty uses in the first movie. This thing couldn't be more detailed if it gave people radiation poisoning from all the teeny-tiny plutonium.
So far they've only made these two figures, and not one of Marty's mom or his therapist (who we all know he'd need to help him grapple with some of those mom issues).
Wanna Be A Ghostbuster? It'll Cost You
A lot of us have fantasized about being a Ghostbuster, but also wouldn't want to be in the same room as Dan Aykroyd for long periods of time. Luckily, you can pretty much buy all the junk you need to hunt and trap the poor souls who can't find their way into the afterlife. But it doesn't come cheap. Yes, you too may have to squat in an abandoned fire station after spending all your dough on Ghostbuster gear.
Surprisingly, these detailed replicas were made by the same people who thrilled kids with Hot Wheels and permanently screwed up their understanding of human biology with Barbie -- Mattel. The company has a collector's line for people who still love toys but are old enough to be skeptical that Santa will bring it to them. For starters you can purchase a ghost trap, just like in the movie. It even lights up and has sound effects -- which is a good thing, because it costs $500.
And since you've already spent all this money, you've got to complete the set with the Neutrino wand. Thankfully, Mattel stopped short of selling replica syringes full of Thorazine for Ghostbusters-themed dinner dates.
A $400 Model Hogwarts Express
A lot of Harry Potter fans have probably concussed themselves after hurling their bodies at a brick wall to enter Platform 9 3/4. After all, that's how you find the Hogwarts Express, the magical train that carries kids to the world's most dangerous and least educational boarding school. Of course, the Hogwarts Express isn't real (though one Scottish train comes close), but you can get yourself a model version.
It costs $400, which is a lot to spend, because not all of us have goblin vaults full of trust funds like Harry. The toy is rather impressive, though. It has lights and steam and a remote control, which is kind of the magic wand of the Muggle world.
So this toy might actually be worth the expense. Plus, when it comes to Harry Potter merchandise, a good old-fashioned train set is a hell of a lot classier than a broomstick that doubles as a sex toy.
Own A Human-Sized Godzilla For $40,000
If you've ever thought that a giant Godzilla toy was precisely the centerpiece your home needed, well you're in luck, weirdo. Bandai has released a human-sized replica of everyone's favorite rampaging lizard monster. This specific version of Godzilla is dubbed the "Human Size Godzilla 1991 Hokkaido version." Note that the 1991 part doesn't mean that Godzilla is wearing flannel and carrying a stack of Pearl Jam CDs, but rather is a replica of the Godzilla that appeared in the 1991 movie Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah. This thing looks so realistic that you might want to check to make sure there isn't a dead Japanese actor inside.
They only made ten of these guys, with a price tag of 4.482 million yen! Wow! OK, so we don't really know if that's a ton of money or the price of an cucumber-flavored Pepsi (which we assure you is a thing). Oh, in U.S. currency, that converts to over $40,000! And if you love Godzilla so damn much that you think 40 grand is too low an amount to spend on a scale model, you could always go for the smaller solid gold Godzilla.
Made by Tokyo jeweler Ginza Tanaka to mark the big guy's 60th anniversary, this little statue is 10 inches tall and weighs 33 pounds. And it costs (you might want to take a big sip of coffee right now) $1.47 million. Yikes, just think of how many salad-flavored sodas you could buy for that much!
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