Disappointment is a natural part of any gift-giving occasion, especially if you're a kid and your mom doesn't know the difference between a Transformer and a GoBot. Every kid knew that there was an inherent risk in asking Santa for an action figure, because parents usually figured that as long as it had the right logo on the box, they were on the safe side.
Turns out they couldn't be more wrong, because hiding within the toy lines you loved were ...
April O'Neil's Boss (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
He looks like he's one missed deadline away from a felony groping charge.
It was something of a rite of passage for boys in the late '80s/early '90s to wake up on Christmas morning and see the wrapped Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle-shaped box. In anticipation you'd tear it open, wondering what would be revealed. Your favorite Turtle? Your favorite villain? Or some fat guy eating a sandwich, with toilet paper stuck on his foot?
The official TMNT Burne (April O'Neil's boss) action figure included exciting accessories like a phone, a typewriter, a press pass that fit nowhere on his person and another, larger sandwich.
With a sword grip.
The truth is, an alarming amount of TMNT toys were neither teenage nor mutant nor ninjas nor turtles. Some of them weren't even appropriate for children. Case in point:
Prostitute April O'Neil (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
"I'm ... making a documentary!"