Trying to get ordinary people to feel sorry for rich, entitled celebrities is like getting rich, entitled celebrities to remember what it's like to pour their own Cristal. Every now and then, however, you hear about Hollywood stars who were dealt such a shitty hand that you can't help but think they would have been better off staying down here with the nobodies and riff-raff.
And here's the crazy part: Despite all the tabloid headlines about Jennifer Aniston's perpetually flat, un-pregnant belly, today's Hollywood elite have it easy compared to the stars of your grandparents' and great-grandparents' generations. Back in the olden days, movie stars reported to movie studios ... and movie studios were THE DEVIL.
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Even if you've never turned on TCM or flirted with the "classic movies" section on Netflix (assuming there's still a classic movies section on Netflix), you probably know who this is:
You'll understand why she has that shell-shocked look on her face real soon.
That's Judy Garland playing Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz. She was 16 years old when she played the character, but she'd been working for MGM since she was 13. And 13, for those of you who haven't hit puberty yet, is a sucky age. Judy was both too old for kid roles and clearly too young for lady parts.
Luckily for her, one of the most inexplicably popular stars in the world at the time was about her age and about her size (she was 4'11"). Mickey Rooney was Justin Bieber for the Depression crowd, and Judy Garland was his ... Selena Gomez? His Lionel Richie's Daughter? Maybe his Tyga? Whoever Justin Bieber is dating by the time this article runs, Judy Garland was the onscreen version of that person in the 1930s. Together, Garland and Rooney made movies at a nonstop pace throughout their teen years. And when we say "nonstop pace," we mean that they'd finish one movie and start another hours later. The kids were expected to work 18-hour days, six days a week, all while looking so wholesome that you could eat cookies off their foreheads.
Delirium never looked so dapper.