Sure, you could keep up with the news. but then you'd miss out on the balls-to-the-wall action of Olympic mixed doubles badminton. Besides, no reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

#14.

Suicide Squad opens to record-breaking numbers despite reviews

Source: Screen Rant, Cosmic Booknews, Variety

#13.

16 killed in Texas hot air balloon crash

Source: ABC News

#12.

China unveiled a new traffic-straddling bus

Source: CNN

#7.

Two dogs left in car crash into Walmart

Source: Fox San Diego, CarScoops

#6.

Anton Yelchin's parents suing over his death

Source: Variety

#5.

Splash remake to star Channing Tatum as the merman

Source: Deadline Hollywood

#4.

Burglar tied to tree dies

Source: CNN

#1.

CDC issues Zika advisory for Miami

Source: CNN

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