5
Scientology Sent Detectives And Spies To The South Park Offices
Comedy Central Productions
When we think of spycraft, we conjure images of trench-coated men smoking cigarettes in the rain while taking pictures of diplomats banging escorts. It's a dirty, exciting business that can destroy marriages, businesses, and even nations. Unless you work for Scientology's Office of Special Affairs, where the delicate skill of subterfuge is used not to topple tyrants but to harass two sarcastic Gen-Xers who made a cartoon mocking the guy from Cocktail.
Comedy Central Productions
One hundred percent accurate, apparently.
Back in 2005, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone made headlines by using their show to attack an organization previously considered untouchable: Scientology. They did so by attacking its most famous acolyte, Tom Cruise, in an episode entitled "Trapped In The Closet" (we'll let you figure out what angle of attack they chose to go with). The episode caused quite a stir, especially when noted Scientologist and sexiest-voice-haver Isaac Hayes quit the show because of it.
Comedy Central Productions
Serenading grade-schoolers with songs about scrotal fellatio: Totally down.
Co-workers joking about Xenu: BURN IT TO THE GROUND.
But after a brief media battle, Scientology seemingly backed down and went back to bad-mouthing mental-health care. However, in 2011 a high-level defector started leaking Scientologist reports, some of which revealed that the organization hadn't stopped waging war on South Park at all -- they had just gone cold.
Scientology's second-favorite way of dealing with detractors, next to suing the pants off people and then going back for the socks, is digging up dirt. Literally, as first Scientology hired a bunch of private investigators to go to the South Park offices and go through their trash. Not only that, these PIs also wrote down license plates, logged employee lunch habits, and reported on which offices were vulnerable enough for a "special collection." Next, they started profiling Parker and Stone's employees to find out who would be vulnerable enough to "interview," trying to get their close friends and colleagues to reveal anything that would embarrass two guys who make puppets 69 for a living.
Michael Elins/Rolling Stone
336 Comments