The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

The news media's primary motivation these days is clearly to drum up sales of emergency apocalypse supplies. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: Fayetteville Observer

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: CNN (updated)

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: WIVB

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: Hollywood Reporter

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: Fox 2 Detroit

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: Uproxx

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: The Independent

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: CBS Local

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: People

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: Columbia Tribune

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: Alaska Dispatch

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

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Source: Time

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)

Sources: NY Times, UNHCR, Amnesty International

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