Some people would simply go along with that middle school punishment, betraying everything they stand for and writing up a critique of pot that they themselves do not believe. Others would go the true middle schooler route and write a defiant essay full of childish insults that would in fact get them thrown in jail. Bennett knew he would have to be more subtle.
After his petition to write a balanced view of the pros and cons of legalizing marijuana was vehemently denied, Bennett scribed an outline that quickly devolves into the most backhanded "downsides" that, technically, are all still true:
The stigma of being associated with cannabis can damage your social standing.
It's illegal and the money generated is not taxable, meaning it costs the Government rather than being a potential source of revenue.
People get ripped off as unscrupulous dealers up their profit by mixing the drugs with sand.
When consumed in certain ways, most notably being smoked with tobacco, cannabis can cause cancer, especially mouth cancers.
"Change font to Comic Sans. Perfect."
Something tells us that Bennett was the type of high schooler who would write an essay titled "Why George Washington Was The Greatest American" and spend half its word count listing out the names of all the slaves he owned. And then get an A.