Myth: Aphrodisiacs Boost Your Sex Drive
When you think of activities that get you in the mood for a nice romp, you probably think of nibbling your lover's ear, or kissing their neck, or playing the opening drum solo to "Hot for Teacher" on their butt cheeks. But there's an entire multi-million dollar industry that says you can skip all that boring foreplay bullshit, just so long as you're willing to gulp down some Spanish Fly or other weird concoction.
It's mayo and old library books. Don't give us that look.
And fine, chances are you don't believe that every single supplement claiming to be an aphrodisiac is actually going to make boning seem irresistible. But come on, at least a few of these sexual boosters must have an effect, right? Just one, maybe? There's no way that aphrodisiacs just literally don't exist at all.
But Actually ...
Aphrodisiacs just literally don't exist at all. Not a single food or drug has ever been shown to have any sort of positive effect on a person's sex drive -- at least according to the FDA, but what do they know about food and drugs, anyway?
Thankfully, classic Motown still works every time.
But even if aphrodisiacs don't have any measurable physiological effect, what about the idea that they serve as placebos? There's nothing wrong with taking a harmless supplement if it's what you need to convince yourself that sex is fun (and let's be honest here, that can be a pretty difficult thing to convince yourself of).
That would be all well and good, except for the fact that the FDA is once again spoiling everyone's fun by pointing out that a lot of these herbal "aphrodisiacs" are really freaking bad for you. Take Spanish Fly, a substance you might think will get you all hot and wet, but instead might just permanently damage your urinary system. Hell, back in 1999, four people died after trying aphrodisiacs. Tone Loc lied to us!
Maybe we should reconsider doing the Wild Thing.